In other news, Fundy, Smapes, Easy E, LZE, Morley, and BroMo came to town last weekend for March Madness games, golfing, Golden Tee, and general douchebaggery. Along with Kansas friends Hendo and JDub (and some others who made cameos but are inconsequential to the overall arc of the weekend) we made some SERIOUS plays. On Saturday, after golf in the morning, I took the crew to one of our go-to bars in Lawrence, "for lunch and a couple of beers during the Florida/Pittsburgh game." Huge mistake. 13 hours and $800 later, there's a decent chance I might not be let back into that establishment. The lesson: Don't take your lowlife friends to one of your home-field advantage bars. They get to skip town and never show their faces there again; you don't.
Full disclosure: I'm probably exaggerating how annoying we were that day. I spent most of the day alternating between laughing my ass off and being mortified, but my pseudo-buddy Hoff, who runs the joint, came up to me at the end of the night and told me we livened the place up and that I should bring my friends from up north whenever I want. Also, apparently some people (strangers to me) who were at Johnny's Wet at the same time as us left at some point, went to another bar, and ran into my buddy Zim, telling him "We just came from Johnny's Wet, and there was a group of North Dakotans bellied up and getting rowdy, they were AWESOME!!!" So maybe there were a few fans amongst all the people we pissed off. Some other mini stories:
- For readers who don't personally know the cast of characters, BroMo is Easy's brother. (BroMo's blog nickname stems from him being my BROther of a different MOther.) So every time BroMo came back from the bathroom, or sat down with a random girl at a different table, or really just every time it had been seven minutes and we were getting bored, someone would yell out, and everyone would join in, "Heyyyyyyyy Brotherrrrrrr!!!!!" Sometimes I exaggerate how many times a certain phrase gets used during a drinking sesh, but no jokesies, we yelled that at least 75 times while we were there. Conservatively. It got to the point that random people around the bar were joining in with us during the first syllable....because they knew where that train was headed.
So at the time, I had no idea what the reference was from; I just thought it sounded fun and joined in cause all the cool kids were doing it. The next morning, I found out it was from this song, which sounds more depressing or something. It doesn't sound like a celebration. I like our way better.
- I get a fair amount of shit for my northern accent from my Kansas friends, even though I don't think I have a bad accent. A good way to sum it up is thusly: Last week I ran into some guys from the University of Minnesota-Crookston at the golf course, we got to talking about where I came from, blah blah blah, and they asked "So, does your accent go away after you live down here, or what?" Not even two hours later, I was talking to another random guy born and raised in Kansas, he asked me a question, and before I could even finish the first sentence, he was cutting in, "So, you're from up north, huh?" So it goes both ways. Anyway, after three full days of hanging out with us day and night....Hendo and JDub developed northern accents. It was fantastic. As much as they hated it, they couldn't stop it. It was hilarious to watch. It's only now beginning to fade. What a coupla hosers.
- Teens and Smapes went home earlier than the rest of us on Saturday night, but it wasn't to stop drinking and/or sober up. When we came home, we walked in on the TV volume turned up full blast on the 90's Jams channel, and the two of them were dancing, SYNCHRONIZED, to Usher. I don't have anything else to add here; just thought that should be documented somewhere.
- Oh yeah, Morley decided to get tattoos drawn on his face and neck. A '#G' under one eye, a prison teardrop under the other (I thought that definitely had a chance to end unfavorably) and a giant colored-in exclamation mark on his neck. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
With Jonye having his kid a couple months ago, The Boards are now split 2-2, with Noles and Jonye having kids, and Horp and I still partying whenever we want. Lately we've been having "arguments" on who enjoys their life more.
Sample exchange from these arguments:
"Good luck with the diapers. I'll be drunk."
"Tell that to your headache tomorrow."
"My headache is caused by too much fun. Yours is from poop in pants."
Anyway, after last weekend, I gotta be honest.....score one for the Dads. (Sorry Horp. I'll be back on your side in a couple weeks or something.)