No-Go If There's No Jo-Jo

So originally, I was gonna write a huge post before the tournament, sorta ranking the teams in order of how scared I was to play them as a KU fan.  This has always been my determining factor in picking teams in my brackets-- if the Jayhawks were five minutes away from tipping off against this team, how scared would I be that we were about to lose the game?

But with Joel Embiid's injury, everything goes out the window.  I'm like an elderly white woman at an N.W.A. concert; I really don't know how to predict what's going to happen, and I'm scared of everybody.  If you believe what Bill Self is saying, then Embiid should be back for the Sweet 16.  However, the first rule of Fight Club is you do not believe what coaches say to the media regarding injuries.....and the second rule of Fight Club is YOU DO NOT BELIEVE WHAT COACHES SAY TO THE MEDIA REGARDING INJURIES.  So I'm not convinced.  I think there's a very real chance Jo-Jo is done for the year; and I can't really blame him, with millions of dollars at stake.  And even if he does come back at that point, with a month's worth of rust, against a tough Syracuse team and their 2-3 zone, that's still a terrifying game.

So bottom line, I have absolutely no clue what to make of the Jayhawks' chances this year.  I could see a second-round flame-out with no Embiid to protect the rim from New Mexico's dynamic frontcourt of Bairstow and Kirk....or maybe they survive the first weekend, Embiid comes back and feels good, and the same team that beat Duke and ran through the Big 12 resurfaces, and all of a sudden we're giving Florida a fight for their life in the Elite 8.  It's all on the table.

Roun' these parts, where 95% of people's brackets have Kansas winning it all every single year, I sometimes get accused of being a pessimistic, doom-and-gloom fan.  But whatever, I'm usually right.  I picked them to lose in the Sweet 16 last year and was right, I picked them to lose in the Elite 8 in 2011 and was right, etc. etc.  Please don't misconstrue the fact that I *think* they will lose as me *wanting* them to lose.  That's absurd.  While confidence is low, excitement remains high.

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So in lieu of giving my thoughts on some of the other teams in the tourney, I thought I would let my friends do it.   I've done this a couple times before, and they're kinda fun to re-read with the benefit of hindsight.  This one was just before the 2010 tournament, and this one was prior to the 2011-2012 regular season.
 
So here's how some of my fellow college basketball diehards feel about their squad as we enter the greatest three weekends of the year.  (Disclaimer:  Everyone brought a lot of hustle, so this might get long.  However, it's the only post you're gonna see here for at least a week, so make it last if you need to.)

Here's the keys to The Slice, why don't you guys drive for a while.

Double D, representing Kansas

Unnerved, unmoved, unlaundered. Three very fitting words for my March, and I am positive I am not alone. Unnerved because I try not to set riDUNKulous expectations for any KU Squad, but more times than not I end up disappointed. "WE ARE GOING TO THE SHIP!" Unmoved because you won't often talk me off my opinion ledge or out of my lucky chair. "BRO, THIS IS WHERE I SAT IN '08!"  Unlaundered and dude your shirt smells too! (Fact, Axe Body Spray sales triple in March! Bibliography: Wikipedia Internet Machine).

As a #rockchalker #kubballer March Madness is what I look forward to in the basketball season each year. Don't get me wrong, I love winning the conference. But most Jayhawk fans measure basketball success in the Big Dance, and it would not be hard for them to admit to that statement. This particular year I have faith in our Coach to get us to the Sweet 16, after that it is up to the players to take us further! Today I want a rematch with Florida to get to the Final Four, tomorrow I will be praying that Stephen F. Austin advances to the Elite Eight. Regardless of the opponent, I want to see my team work hard and make plays! Really, really, really, ridiculously good plays.

Obscure Rap Song Title to be used as my personal #KUBBALL Tournament Slogan: "Work Hard Play Hard" -Wiz Khalifa

Here is what I want; 4-6 great tournament games that my team wins!

ROCK CHALK!


Hendo, Kentucky

Is it January? The last two games is what I was expecting to see in mid January, not in the last 2 games of the Conference Championship. If you have been following Kentucky Basketball in the last month, which I'm sure everyone of you has, Calipari reportedly has been "tweaking" things in practice. Nobody knows what the said "tweaking" is and obviously Calipari won't say either but, players seem to be having fun playing basketball and less like Calipari Robots. Andrew Harrison has learned that he is not the best player on the court, let alone his own team.  Let me know if you want a "fear the tweak shirt" (shirts are made from recycled 40-0 shirts.) However anytime we go on a scoring drought its because we can't get Julius Randle the ball on the block at any point in the possession. I think Julius should take the ball up the floor, dribble it to the left block, and then we can start the offense.

The draw in the Midwest Region for Kentucky is obviously not an easy one. If this team is performing the way they did against Florida in the SEC Championship I don't see Kentucky having a problem with Kansas St. or Wichita St. The length of Willie Cauley-Stein doesn't match anyone from either team. I also don't see anyone being able to play with Julius Randle. WSU doesn't have the personnel to double team him like most teams have been doing. I do believe the game that will be huge for them is the potential Louisville match up.  If this team makes it to the second weekend and finds a way to beat Louisville I will be 100% convinced this team has finally learned to play as a team and wouldn't be surprised if they made it all the way to the Championship game and seek revenge against Florida.

In the Championships Trophy Speech I also expect WC-S to be MVP and give this speech:

"We had to go back to playing Kentucky Basketball. We came out here. We were letting us be bigger than the game. We were bigger than the game. We had to say, ‘Hey, let’s play Kentucky Basketball,’ because can’t nobody be bigger than this game. And we did that, and we came out victorious."*

*Editor's note:  Nice Jameis Winston reference.


Stenj, Florida

In these times of the one-and-done this year's Florida Gators are a throw back squad.  Led by four Seniors and without a sure-fire NBA player on the roster, this team's success relies on experience, leadership and team defense. 

Scottie Wilbekin is the heart of the team.  Arguably the best PG in college ball, he runs the machine.  He can defend, drive and seems to always come up with a big bucket when they need it most.  The SEC Champions are also blessed with two talented sophomores in outside threat Michael Frazier II (45% from 3) and 6th man Dorian Finney-Smith.

The Gators play tough defense and set up the full court press every opportunity they have.  The press doesn't necessarily create many turnovers, but tends to wear the opposing side down by the end of the game.

Billy Donovan's squad is not deep in the big man department.  They tend to have some trouble with offensive boards and finishing when they rebound one of their own.  They are also a poor free throw shooting team, specifically from their bigs. 

The nucleus of this team has been to three straight Elite 8s and is the number one overall seed this year.  They come in on a 26 game winning streak looking for 6 more.  I like Florida taking the next step and moving on to the Final Four this year.  Is a championship in the cards?  Who knows, but I like the team with senior leadership and experience under the big lights.


Horp, North Carolina

(Editor's note:  I have a disgusting number of North Carolina fans, and I didn't even ask Fundy to write me anything, since I wanted him to focus on getting done with work and getting on I-29 to get down here.)

No one could have predicted this year's UNC team. Losing two starters at the beginning of the year, then beating the #1,2,3,4 ranked preseason teams, but losing to Belmont Street and a JV team, and now comes the tourney. I would compare this year's UNC team to Justin Bieber.

First, he looks cuddly with that mop of hair (UNC ranked in top 15 to start the year).....then he starts hitting that fine ass* (UNC beats Mich St and Louisville).....but then the Bieb's dad comes around and starts taking lap dances next to his son and blocking off traffic so he can drag race (loses to Belmont and JV team).  But then the Biebs is spotted back with that hot little ass** (beating Duke).

So, I will be watching TMZ before the tourney starts and if Bieber isn't hurling eggs at his neighbors, then UNC has a chance at the Sweet 16. But if I see that fool biting another strippers nipple before tip-off, then it could be a first round loss.

*Editor's note:  He's talking about Selena here.
**Editor's note:  Still talking about Selena.


Easy E, North Carolina

“It’s a new dawn! It’s a new day! It’s a new life! Annnnd I’m feeling goooooooood……”

It has been well documented how the Heels have gone from starting out 1-4 in the ACC to winning 12 of their last 13. I am sure the more casual UNC fan was already saying things like:

“We will be lucky to make the NIT this year”

“Can Roy please just call one 1st half timeout? ONE!?!?!”*

“TAR!!!!!   …. Soooo how about this Virgina team?”

But I am not here to stand-up for these fans, instead I am here to show them how this year’s team will make the Elite Eight and surpass everyone’s expectations! The one hiccup this UNC team has is its FT shooting and I don’t see their team free throw shooting  (62.5%) improving dramatically, but I believe this team now understands that Marcus Paige and Nate Britt need the ball late and specifically NOBODY TALLER THAN 6’5” should get the ball late! Also, UNC is one of the best teams this year at tipping missed FTs back to the offense, which is the 2nd best outcome after Marcus Paige shooting all late FTs. 

This team will go as far as Marcus Paige can take them, with support from J.M. McAdoo and Brice Johnson. JMM plays his best when he is not the #1 option in the offense and Brice is insta-buckets when he checks in. But Paige will need to play great virtually every game of this tournament for them to get to the Elite Eight-- which he has done throughout this late season run. 

The one flyer that scares me to death is J.P. Tokoto. I see him make wayyy too many questionable decisions with the basketball late in games, as well as his propensity to take long-range jump shots (23.5% from 3).  J.P. needs the Uncy Aaron speech, “When you woke up this morning, did somebody tell you that you were suddenly good at shooting?  No?  THEN QUIT SHOOTING!"  Don’t get me wrong, I love everything J.P. does around the rim, but once he starts floating around the 3pt line…. I’m nervous.  I got UNC winning late against Providence, shocking all Big 12 fans with clutch baskets late over Iowa St., then facing St. Joe’s.  I think UNC  matches up well on the inside and will run their transition game into the Elite Eight. After that, if it’s Mich. St. I think Izzo beats Ol’ Roy, but if it’s Virginia, then I like UNC’s chances. Go Heels. 

*Editor's note:  Easy E texts some version of this question to me multiple times a year, so don't be swayed by him attributing that quote to "the more casual UNC fan."


JDub, North Carolina

Ya know that feeling you get when you've completed the perfect lie? You crafted the deception, cleaned up the loose ends, and when the time came, you delivered the fib with conviction and just the right amount of pageantry. Your victim is fooled and you are free to resume living your life free from repercussion. IT. IS. AWESOME. It's my favorite feeling that doesn't involve cheese and/or R&B music.

You know who else loves to lie? The North Carolina Tar Heels. They've been lying to us all year long, and they're doing a phenomenal job. The only parallel I can draw is to a married man (UNC) deceiving his beautiful, doe-eyed, idealistic mistress (me). Here's the timeline:

- We meet, and it's hot. (Beginning of the season)

- Things get rocky, but it'll be better when he leaves his wife. (Just wait until we get PJ & Leslie McDonald back)

- He leaves town on my birthday to renew his wedding vows with his wife. I'm crushed. (UNC doesn't seek reinstatement for PJ Hairston, ending his time as a Tar Heel. I'm crushed.)

- I'm inconsolable, and he's stopped trying. (1-4 start in ACC play)

- He comes back, but I'm not ready to believe. (UNC rights the ship with a few wins in a row, fans remain unconvinced)

- He takes me to beautiful dinners and showers me with gifts for weeks. (The win streak reaches 5, 6, and then 7)

- I'm still dubious, but then he comes to my place and shows me the divorce papers. He's actually going to do it! He had a lawyer draft them and everything! (UNC beats Duke at home)

- Things sure are swell. (The win streak balloons to 12)

- I'm not so sure he filed those papers... (The winning ends with a loss at Duke)

- I become suspicious and go through his phone. He sent his wife a text telling her how much he loved her right before he came over. I'm confused. (UNC loses to Pitt in their opening game of the ACC tournament. I'm confused)

In short, UNC cannot be trusted. Is this the team that beat Louisville, Michigan St., Kentucky, and Duke or is this the team that lost to Belmont, UAB, and Wake Forest? It's a trick question. They are all these things and more. And less. And I hate everything. From game to game I have no idea what this team is bringing and I don't think they do either.

So to sum things up, when asked to jot down some quick feelings regarding how I feel about North Carolina heading into the tournament, I wrote almost nothing about basketball and instead focused on lies and unfaithful partners. How do you think I feel about the Heels right now? 

Jonye, Wichita St. 

(Editor's note:  Jonye played for Northern Iowa, so since they didn't make the tournament, I thought I'd give him a shot at MVC cohort Wichita St.  Whoops.)

Welcome to the Midwest bracket home to three #1 seeds and two #3 seeds, as Sir Charles would say what the committee did to Wichita State, is “TERRRRRRRRIBLE.”

Congrats to Wichita State for making the final four last year, going 34-0 this year, their reward is perhaps the toughest single region in recent memory.  If I was an NBA Scout I would just get an all session pass to the Midwest reason and wait to see what comes out of the other 3 regions at the final four, I wouldn’t be missing much.  Here is Wichita’s hypothetical run to the final four:  First round play-in game winner.  The first and second round will be in St. Louis and place near and dear to the hearts of all MVC Fans.  Round 1 should be a win.  Round 2 facing the winner of Kentucky/Kansas St, Kentucky is the team that just took Florida to the wire and is littered with lottery picks, #8 Seed is a joke, likely more of #3, but if you are going to undervalue a team, put them in the Midwest (see also Louisville, Duke, Michigan).

IF Wichita wins its second round game they get to face Louisville, which is a #1 seed posing as a #4 seed in the Midwest.  Virginia can play its way to a #1 seed but Louisville can’t? Arguably the hottest team in the country right now and they were given a #4 seed.

 IF WSU beats Louisville they will face likely either Duke or Michigan, Duke probably should have been a #2 seed.  Michigan, had they beaten Michigan State, would have been a #1 seed.  Somehow a Michigan St. win in the Big 10 Tournament isn’t good enough to vault them to anything above a #4 seed (much like Louisville), but Michigan's and Duke's losses are penalized with a drop?  Does the committee value conference tournaments or not? You can’t have it both ways.

So there you have it, the Midwest region home to 3 -  #1 Seeds (Wichita State, Louisville, and Michigan) and 2 -  #3 seeds (Duke and Kentucky).

I am not conspiracy theorist, but it looks an awful lot like the committee is tired of non-BCS schools making it to the final four, to reward a team that went perfect through the regular season and then won their conference tourney, with the toughest bracket in recent memory is shocking. If this is how they want to do it, let’s just go to the football system where there is D-1A and D-1AA, let the BCS Schools form four conferences with 35 teams in each conference and then play it out.   Wichita State can only beat who play them, and they beat everyone, KU wouldn’t play them, KSU wouldn’t play them, and that’s just in the state of Kansas.  If 34-0 and doesn’t garner enough respect to get a decent draw in the committees eyes I guess every conference, outside of the ACC, Big 10, Big 12, PAC 12, and Big East should be one bid conferences, let the smaller schools play in the NIT.  That’s not the tournament I grew up with, but the way things are trending you will see the end of the Cinderella story and begin the era of evil step conferences.  Jealous that their players are all one and dones and jealous fans that have to learn a new roster every year, this is TERRRRRRRIBLE.

Long live the MVC where defense and team basketball are still respected, the players come to get an education and learn how to play as a unit.  Long live the years where Northern Iowa had the chance to upset a #1 seed Kansas*.  If I wanted to watch a bunch of guys who weren’t interested in team basketball and making those around them better, I would watch the NBA and maybe in a few years the NCAA tournament. No Thank YOU.

*Editor's note:  I'm not sure what he means here.  Do you want Wichita St. to be an 8 seed now, so they have a chance to take down a 1 seed?  The MVC just got a 1 seed, and you just wrote The Gettysburg Address about their unfair path....but long live the years when you had a chance to take down a 1 seed?  I think this was a blatant excuse to shoehorn in a reference to the Faroukmanesh game, and I suppose I can understand that.  Dick.

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OK, pass me back the mic.  My quick bracket predictions, in 15 seconds or less:

Elite 8:  Florida, Syracuse, Michigan St., North Carolina, Arizona, Creighton, Louisville, Duke
Final 4:  Florida, Michigan St., Arizona, Duke
Champ:  Michigan St. over Arizona

Rock Chalk, dudes.  Fundy, Smapes, LZE and Easy, hurry up and get down here, and hand me a Mich Golden while you're at it.