I found out recently that KU basketball assistant coach Kurtis Townsend (recently named the #1 recruiter in the country, according to a poll of his fellow NCAA coaches) must live in my neighborhood or something. This was completely new information to me. (As opposed to Bill Self, whose house I knew the location of before they laid the first brick. Sometimes I wake up super early in the morning, drive over and park my car in front of his house, and just watch the sun rise. I've also started leaving things on his front porch. I hope he likes the present I left him the other day-- it's macaroni noodles glued on a paper plate, in the form of he and I holding hands, and a message on the bottom in crayon saying 'Best Budz 4 Life.')
Every morning for the past few weeks, I've seen Townsend on a morning stroll as I drive to work-- me driving East, him walking West, so we're facing each other as I pass. Right off the bat, as I was just processing the fact that it was Townsend, he looked right at me and waved. I was taken aback and looked around for another car near me, as I knew of no reason why Townsend would be throwing me a what-up. Nobody else around. OK, fair enough. The next day, same thing, only this time I was cool, calm, and collected, and waved back. Next day, same thing. Next day, same thing, and every day since then.
So there are two possibilities here: either Townsend thinks I'm somebody else, or he's just being friendly. I can accept that he's just being friendly; not every semi-famous person is required to be an asshole. But then the question becomes: why isn't he waving at anybody else? There have been days since the first one where there have been other cars in the vicinity, and he doesn't wave at any of them, just me. Perhaps he's had the same thought that I've had, and acknowledging it's pretty bizarre that we cross each other within the same 30-yard diameter EVERY single day. I know people have routines in the morning, but this is getting absurd. If I'm three minutes late, then he is. If I'm six minutes early, so is he. Staying within the same 10-second window like this has been freaky.
In any event, why he is waving at me matters not. It's the as a result that matters. And as a result, I'm not going to hesitate to be super comfortable with Townsend next time I see him in public (when one of us isn't driving 40mph in the opposite direction.) If he wants to be boys, we're gonna be BOYS. I've seen him quite a few times at Henry T's, and noticed that we both almost exclusively order the buffalo chicken strips. Next time, I'm envisioning me plopping down at his table, grabbing one of his strips and nonchalantly taking a bite. "Yo, Townsy, how's the family?" I'll say, as he and his friends look startled and try to alert the manager. "Well, see ya bright and early tomorrow morning, my man. Mondays, am I right? Don't forget about those tickets you promised!" Soon after, the harassing phone calls, mutilated family pets, and doorstep macaroni presents will start.
And poor Kurtis Townsend will never go out of his way to be friendly again.
