I'm proud to say we've come a long way as a tailgate crew for the College World Series. Gangel and I came from very humble beginnings. In our 2009 debut, similar to Will Smith and his son, or Dr. Evil and Mini-Me, it was just the two of us...and we got kicked off the premises within half an hour for not being "committed to a particular tailgate." We spent most of our afternoon sitting on a tree stump across from Rosenblatt, drinking beer almost literally as fast as we could, since we had no cooler and it was 90 degrees outside. We were much more prepared in 2010, but we still ate dinner at McDonald's, and I was pretending to be a TCU alum in order to snake sandwiches from a Horned Frog tailgate all day. We slowly got our act together, year by year, and 2012 was our breakout summer. Gangel had morphed into a grill master, so we ate like kings all day long. We had a steady stream of friends visiting throughout the day, so every time we ran low on beer or ice, we had reinforcements on the way. And not unlike Jesus the great carpenter before him, Addy built Jumbo Jenga with his bare hands, making us the most popular tailgate in all of Lot B, and earning us some pub in the Omaha newspaper.
So where do we go from here?
College logos on the Jumbo Jenga blocks, for one. Once again, Addy got all arts & crafty on us, and we quickly turned his new wrinkle into multiple drinking rules. Instead of just pulling out a block and replacing it up top, now you try and guess which of the 66 schools is represented on your block. If you're right, everyone else has to chug a beer-- nobody else could take advantage of this rule, as I was the only person to correctly predict my block, and I did it three times, as pictured above with Sparty. If you draw one of the eight teams who were playing in the College World Series, then you have to chug a beer. This rule came back and bit me, as well. Many times. Also, my most embarrassing moment was when I guessed UCLA, pulled UCLA, started running laps and telling everyone to chug a beer and suck my dick since I guessed it right again....then was reminded that UCLA was in the CWS, so I had to chug one too. Alcohol's a hell of a drug.
My favorite rule was after you pulled a team, as you replaced the block, you had to name one athlete from that school. Any sport. Any era. No repeats. So now we're testing both body and mind. Jenga is already nerve-racking, as the tower gets taller and less stable. It's even more difficult when I'm up in your face, pointing, taunting and yelling "Uh-uh, mother fucker! Kevin Durant was already named! Find another Longhorn, you whore!" (Love you Teens.)
Also gone were the days of using some other random tailgate's beanbag set. Here's how the scenario played out in past years: Gangel and I mosey over and make friends with the tailgate, humble all the way. We "discover" that they have beanbag boards, and ask them if they want to play a game or something. Winner stays, of course. Fast forward three hours, and Gangel and I are still holding the court, defeating all challengers and talking crap the whole time. Just an absolute hijacking of the unfortunate tailgates's beanbags; the guilt of which has been washed away six beers ago. But no more: Gangel took a page out of Addy's book and constructed these classy little gems:
So now, when Gangel and I are still holding the court, defeating all challengers and talking crap the whole time....at least it's at our own tailgate.
In addition, our food options were even better this year. Any combination of the words "bacon", "jalapeno", and "cheddar" assures that I'll be happy. We lost Emily and her crew, but we added Nicole-- which means we added Nicole's cooking. Our organization wins that trade-- Emily's crew was mostly just expiring contracts anyway.
Nahhhh, let's not get too ambitious or anything.
