Sometimes, however, it's not so fun. Last year Double D got three picks in a row, and was completely sugared out by the second bite of the second cupcake. Meanwhile, Teens didn't get a player until the 40th pick, so she had to sit there for over three hours watching us enjoy cupcakes in front of her while she unsuccessfully tried to move some picks in order to move up in the draft. If you get screwed by the Cupcake Game, it can be as bad as a drinking game. The look on Sam's face last night when he had to eat two cupcakes within three minutes, shortly after he crushed wayyyy too much Pizza Hut, was eerily similar to my face on my birthday when I've already done five shots in the last half an hour, and someone pushes a tequila shot in front of me.
One change for next year though: we decided there needs to be more punishment. The only "bad" thing that can happen is that you have to eat a bunch of cupcakes in a short amount of time, and you feel like shit for awhile. For next year, we're making cupcakes along with a batch of turnips or beets or something. Every draftee gets an appropriate draft range, and if your draftee falls below that range, you don't get a cupcake anymore, you get some shitty vegetable. That way, you're in the same boat as your boy, and if he suffers, you suffer. For example, Nerlens Noel's range last night probably would've been 1-4. When he fell to #6, boom. Brussell sprouts, mother fucker. Anything that results in somebody staring longingly at the tray of cupcakes, mirroring the facial expression of their draftee, is a good rule in my book.
Anyway, quick thoughts on the actual draft:
- You know it's gonna be a good draft when the very first pick makes everyone in the room yelp in surprise. Anthony Bennett? For real? I happen to like him, but there was absolutely no chatter about him going in the #1 spot-- that I heard about anyway. In this day and age, with insane media coverage, Twitter, and all of that....it's nice to be surprised every once in a while.
- Long story short (I'm probably going to post about this in the future) I am without a REAL favorite NBA team right now. When Ben McLemore was available for Phoenix at #5, I was thinking there was a chance that the Suns could be my new favorite team, if Benny Mac was teamed up with the Morris Twins. Even if they took Nerlens at 5, I could get on board with that. Just wash the Calipari stink off of Nerlens, and he could be one of my favorite players. Alas, they look Alex Len (boring) and I'm not sure Los Suns can be my amigos now.
- Biggest laugh of the night, by far: This interview of Russian Sergey Karasev-- it's probably my favorite draft interview ever. Ahhh America, such a melting pot. Everybody click that link and watch it, it's only 50 seconds long, but every second is hilarious. (Quoting Karasev became a phenomenal running joke for the rest of the night. After JDub had to put down three cupcakes in about 10 minutes, he put on his worst Russian accent and cracked "I can't feel it now....I think...couple monthses...I gonna feel it.")
- This KG and Paul Pierce trade to the Nets is absolute garbage for the Celtics. Getting back Gerald Wallace's crappy contract and three first-rounders sure to be non-lottery picks? Just brutal. Danny Ainge's assistants really let him down here. The meeting where Ainge pitches that trade to his staff needs to go down like Tom Smykowski talking about his Jump to Conclusions mat. Complete disgust and brutal honesty. "That's the worst trade I've ever heard in my life, Danny."....."Yes, is horrible, this trade."
- The definition of an X-factor: Shabazz Muhammad. I've flip-flopped on him a million times over the past couple years, starting with his recruitment in high school. He's got an awesome name, and KU is one of his finalist schools: I'm in. He's a lefty with a sweet shooting stroke and some old man up-and-under moves: I'm allll the way in. He wears gold shoes in high school, and by all accounts is kind of a dick: I'm leaning out. He chooses UCLA over KU: I'm out, fuck you 'Bazz. He gets suspended to start the year: I'm way out. Once he gets reinstated, he tears it up, and is extremely fun to watch: I'm back in. His body language is horrible, once even refusing to celebrate a game-winning buzzer beater because his teammate took the shot and not him: I'm out. The story breaks that his family has been pulling a Danny Almonte for years, and he's actually 20 years old, not 19: I'm all the way out. He falls in the draft down to the Timberwolves at 14: I'm intrigued, and possibly back in. He doesn't show up when he's initially drafted, then gets introduced later and has this bizarre entrance, trying to walk away from Stern without taking pictures, with body language that says he'd rather be anywhere else: Ehhhhh, I've got a foot out the door again. I'm sure I'll be back though. He game still projects well to the NBA, and getting him at 14 is great value for the T'Wolves. I think he could easily be a poor man's James Harden. I think I'm just a sucker for fellow lefties.
- Most entertaining Google search of the night: After getting a look at Dennis Schroeder's hair, an impromptu Demolition Man conversation broke out, and we couldn't remember what the violation for cursing was called. "Verbal Morality Statute" was the answer we were looking for. Demolition Man, tremendous movie. People forget about that one.
- Players I don't like and/or went too high: Alex Len, Michael Carter Williams, Steven Adams, Kelly Olynyk, Shane Larkin, Tony Snell, Mason Plumlee, Allen Crabbe, Lorenzo Brown, Colton Iverson.
- Players I like and/or went too low: Victor Oladipo, Dennis Schroeder, Gorgui Dieng, Solomon Hill, Reggie Bullock, Andre Roberson, Isaiah Canaan, Tony Mitchell, Jamaal Franklin, Ricky Ledo, Erik Murphy, Romero Osby, Deshaun Thomas.
- Shout-out to Myck Kabongo for not getting drafted last night. His cupcake was fantastic for breakfast this morning.
