I always knew my boo Selena Gomez was too good for you, Bieber. Go play in traffic.
We'll see if my Selena obsession increases now that she's single for the first time in a few years (you know, cause I have a shot now!) I don't think she'll ever reach Hilary Duff-like proportions for me (true story: back in the day, I had a recurring dream where I was Hilary's boyfriend on the side, like she couldn't bring me out on the red carpet or anything, since she had to keep up Hollywood appearances, but she would secretly fly out to North Dakota every few weeks and spend the weekend with me. And every time I'd wake up deliriously happy for a couple minutes until I realized it was a dream. So that gives you a little taste of the Hilary Duff era for me.)
However, even though the top spot will probably forever be out of reach, Selena can settle very nicely into the #2 spot of my all-time "You May Think It's Inappropriate That I Have A Crush On This Girl, But I Say That Age Ain't Nothin' But A Number" List. Just ahead of Shawn Johnson of USA gymnastics fame, Cassie Steele from Degrassi, and Emma Watson from Harry Potter, in case you care.
Oh, and just in case I'm not being creepy enough already......don't sleep on that younger sister in the Dunphy family on Modern Family, either. They nerd her up for her character on the show, but she is gonna be a smoke show someday soon.
OK, we'll wrap this up, now that I've been flagged by every internet sex offender watch list on the planet.
*This post has the express-written consent of the future Mrs. Jum Hammonds. She even follows Selena on Pinterest (or Instagram or something, I don't really know) solely for her to hand her phone over to me every once in a while so I can creep on some photos.
