Friday, January 7, 2011

A Pictorial Representation Of Why The 90's Were So Awesome...And Other Random Thoughts


"Yo Pac! Pac! Go back, go back, there's a ring box hidden in that tree! Naw, back further, son, back further! You gotta hit the spring board, Pac, hit the muh fuckin' spring board! Damn I knew I should've made you be Tails, he a straight-up little bitch, yo!"

Tupac and Suge Knight playing Sonic the Hedgehog on a, um, not quite plasma screen? Why not? Gotta love the internet.


>> Two random questions that have been on my mind lately:

1. Whenever someone calls your phone but has the wrong number, why is it NEVER just a normal, polite caller? Why is it always some jackoff yelling into the phone like he's never used one before? For example, instead of something like this:

"Hello?"
"Hi, may I speak with Julie please?"
"Sorry, you have the wrong number"
"Oh! I'm sorry about that, thanks!"
"No problem, have a good one."

It's usually something like this:

"Hello?"
"YEAH-- SPENCER?"
"Nope, sorry, you've got the wrong number"
"SPENCER? SPENCE? YOU THERE?"
"No, sorry sir, no Spencer here. You've got the wrong number."
"WHAT'S THAT? WHO IS THIS? SPENCER THERE?"
"No, dude, wrong number! This is Jim. Not Spencer."
"YEAH-- JIM? YOU SEEN SPENCE?"
"Jesus man, are you kidding me?"

And then the guy hangs up and calls back within 20 seconds, looking for Spencer again. This isn't just me, is it? Why are so many wrong numbers total social dipshits? I'm sure there's some sort of mathematical or sociological correlation that explains that it's more likely that people who can't keep a simple phone number straight is probably not a shining beacon of phone etiquette either....but until an official theory is presented, I can only speculate.

{Random story from over a year ago: one time I got a text message from a number I didn't know, asking what time it was in my time zone. I answered her question, a little confused, then asked who was texting me. The reply came back "this is your sister, you fucking asshole, why do you always delete my number?!?!"

I assured her that I had no sister, and she had the wrong number, and she apologized and cracked a couple of legitimately funny jokes, blah blah blah. The next night I was out at the bar, and saw that text still on my phone, so on a whim texted her back and asked her how her night was going. Thus began a peculiar relationship where we would text every couple months, just bullshitting and making brother/sister jokes. Then I got a new phone a few months ago and lost a bunch of contacts during the transfer, and so ended our strange (some might say borderline creepy) texting friendship. Never even knew her name- I just like talking to random people. Makes the world go 'round.}


2. As a male, is there any bigger insult than for somebody you don't know to call you 'guy'? Just happened to me a few days ago and it immediately put me on the defensive. I think it's a serious slap in the face. 'Chief' could be considered pretty bad, but Brandon Walsh always used to use it among his friends on 90210, so that makes it OK in my book (we all know that Brando is the man, let's not debate that.) And back when Dane Cook knew how to be funny and didn't wear Yankees hats around when he's supposed to be a diehard Red Sox fan, he had a joke where if someone you don't know calls you 'pal' really you hear 'fuck-pal-face'....but I think 'guy' is the worst. I'd rather you just called me 'asshole' and be done with it, guy.

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Later Skaters, happy early Friday. Let's all go out and get the same girl pregnant tonight! (Probably my favorite Rafi quote of that whole season of The League.)