It is well documented that I have trouble saying no to plans. I am pretty easily peer pressured into doing things, and I hate disappointing people, even if it's about the last thing I want to be doing at that moment. It was easier the first couple years I lived in Lawrence, as my friend group was considerably smaller than it was during college in Grand Forks. I had plenty of nights with nothing going on, so I was ready to rock when shenanigans presented themselves to me. But now I'm kinda at a point again where I have a bunch of different friend groups (not trying to toot my own horn here, just bein' real witch'ya) so there's always something going on, and once again I'm constantly on the go. However, as opposed to my college days, I'm older and more of a pussy now, so there are plenty of instances where I'd much rather sit around and watch seven hours' worth of It's Always Sunny episodes rather than belly up to a bar at 2 pm on a Sunday afternoon. So since I struggle to say no verbally, I end up flushing a lot of phone calls.
And because my friends are assholes, me refusing to answer my phone on Sunday leads to them ordering up a bouquet of 'Get Well Soon' balloons and having them delivered to my office, since I must be really sick if I'm unable to return any phone calls from a Sunday Funday. And now everyone in my office has been laughing at the story all day long; I had to tell the backstory to about 12 different employees (with good reason; it is pretty funny. I get jokes.)
And I came across a realization: part of the reason I can't say no to anything is because my friends make it so hard to say no. For most people, refusing plans goes something like this:
"Hey, we're going to grab some beers after golf today- you in?"
"Nahhh, it sounds like fun, but I'm pretty hungover, I'll probably just chill out tonight, take care of some stuff at home, I'll get at you guys tomorrow though."
"Aight man, sounds good. I mean, you did have like 19 beers and smoked three cigars last night- you probably are feeling pretty rough. Have a good night dude."
But for me, it goes more like this:
"Hello?"
"Jimmaaaayyyyyyyy! We're at Raffy's. Get over here now. WE. NEED. THIS!!"
"Shit dude, I'm so hung today it's stupid. Plus I have to work at the course tomorrow morning....count me out."
~muffled noises, intelligible screaming in the background~ "What?!?! You pussy!! Just get over here, we need your jukebox skills! ~someone whispers something in the background~ Yeah, yeah, some chick just asked us if Adam Banks was making an appearance tonight. She's not real cute, but like that matters for you. So get over here, you homo!"
"Guys, seriously. I drank enough to kill a small Guatemalan family last night- and the last time I saw you, it was 4 am and you were getting a phone number from that one-legged girl with vomit on her shirt! How are you even out boozing right now?"
"Hey bro, sorry for partying! Just get over here in the next 20 minutes. Puss." ~click~
20 minutes later....
"Yeah. What do you guys want."
"Jimmaaayyyyyyy! Where you at dude? We're starting to get a little worried about you, it's not that long of a drive!"
"Yeah. I told you guys I'm staying in tonight."
~yelling in background about how much of a pussy I am~ "Banks, I don't think you understand. We need you here. So sack up, take the dick out of your ass, and get down to Raffy's. WE. NEED. THIS." ~someone in background: Adam Baaaaaaaanks! ~click~
20 minutes later the phone rings again. This time I flush the call. And then I get like 12 texties in the next seven minutes, all calling me different variations of the word 'vagina' before either a) they give up, or b) I cave and go meet them.
And this is why I end up saying yes to so many things. Partly because I'm easily influenced; and partly because I don't want to deal with the repercussions of saying no.
(Also, I've been driving around all week with a 'Barbershop Honor Society' license plate frame on my back license plate, after my buddies screwed it on since they know that I am currently sans toolbox, and thus can't take it off.)
In conclusion: my friends are dicks. Happy Friday.
