Verdict on the Double Down: deeeeeeeeeelicious. Maybe it was because my expectations were slightly lowered by everyone else's disappointment with it, or maybe because INSTEAD OF BREAD IT HAS FUCKING FRIED CHICKEN, but either way, I thought it was magical.
{However, I couldn't exactly call it filling. In addition to the Double Down, I also ate a Snack Bowl (fried chicken, corn, cheese, and mashed potatoes) two Crispy Snackers, and was halfway done with my third Snacker when I suddenly got a mental image of myself and put the Snacker down and cried for about ten minutes. It was very similar to the time freshman year I was pregaming in Kos and Schne's dorm room watching them play Dr. Mario. I had a Schmidt's in one hand, a giant cookie dough log in the other, and I caught a glance of myself in their full-length mirror on the opposite wall. It was life-altering, and I've never eaten an entire cookie dough log since. However, I did continue drinking Schmidt's for another 18 months or so. What do you want from me.
Back to Wednesday: about 15 minutes later I finished off the third Snacker. It just looked too good to be sitting there uneaten. A 12 dollar order at KFC, gone just like that. Lord, I am so fat and lonely.}
My top 5 all-time favorite fast food items:
Honorable mentions: turkey grinder with taco meat from Red Pepper (before all my Grand Forks friends yell at me for not having it in the top 5, I disqualified it since I have to have a couple of cheese tostadas with it, so it doesn't stand up on its own)......Crunchwrap Supreme from Taco Bell (but only after I've had at least 11 beers; when I'm anywhere near sober they're kinda gross).....Bootlegger with cheese at Jimmy John's.....Breakfast burrito at Qdoba.
5. The Double Down. Seems like a good spot for now. This might be a little too high, since I've been daydreaming of nothing else for the last 42 hours, but we'll see. Seriously, that sauce they put in there? So good. I'm calling it the Lebowski Rug Sauce, since it really ties the sandwich together.
4. Footlong roast beef (with lettuce, onions, pickles, salt & pepper, and one line of mayo, on white bread) from Subway. In truth, I've only eaten this sandwich like two or three times in the last three or four years. Somewhere along the line, I became a Jimmy John's guy over Subway, plus Lawrence has a ton of local sub shops that are better. But I couldn't have this list without it on here; that would be insulting to my childhood. I've eaten (and this is a conservative estimate) like 9,000 of these sandwiches in my life (OK, maybe it's not a conservative estimate, but fo' reals, I've eaten a lot of them.) My proudest moment was when I ate two footlongs in one sitting. I finished the first one, realized I was still really hungry, and went up and ordered another. I was embarrassed, so I ordered it to go and pretended like it was for someone else, then sat down and just got after it while Bergman, Schne, and Laura watched in amazement/disgust.
3. Six pack and a pound from Taco John's. Story time: something like five years ago, we had a Taco John's challenge, wherein we bought a shitload of tacos and tried to see how many we could eat in one hour. Every once else dropped out by like 9, 10, 12 tacos, but I kept going, and ended up eating 17. I ate about 11 for fun, numbers 12-13 were overkill, and 14-17 were absolute nightmares. So disgusting I can't put it into words. I spent the rest of the day mad at myself, thinking I just ruined Taco John's for me and my stomach for the rest of my life, since the thought of tacos grossed me out so much. Then, two days later, I ate a six pack and a pound for lunch. The point: I fucking love Taco John's.
2. Chili cheese wrap from Sonic. I talk about these enough; it's not necessary to go into more detail now. However, I will say that Sonic and I are feuding right now. It's not easy for me to talk about, but the last three times I've eaten there it's been decidedly mediocre. Maybe we're at the point in the relationship where I just found out Sonic doesn't like to give beejers, and she just ran into her ex at a bar and flirted with him for like 45 minutes while I was standing there, and we just need to take a little break.
1. Steak fajita burrito from Chipotle. I know I give Sonic most of the pub on the blog, but Chipotle burritos get me turned on like nothing else. I mean that in the most sexual way possible; I literally have an erection right now just thinking about them. It is less a meal than it is a religious experience. One of the most life-changing questions that has ever been asked to me was back in February 2004, when Schne and I road-tripped down to Lawrence for the first time, and his older brother asked us "Hey, have you guys ever eaten at a Chipotle before?" I went to my first KU game at Allen Fieldhouse for the first time in my life that trip, and it was probably only the second greatest moment- the greatest moment coming immediately after my first bite of a Chipotle burrito. I wish I was exaggerating.
Annnnnnd now I'm starving. Odds of me going out to eat for lunch today: high.
*************
Happy Friday and all that junk. I'll be "taking my talents" to Topeka this weekend for the Sunflower State Games. Last year, in between softball games, we boozed hard in the parking lot and listened to Jock Jams at high volumes. I was drinking vodka beers pretty aggressively, and was throwing up by the early afternoon. Just a nice little Sunday. This year, we're under a heat advisory warning (I didn't know those even existed- but I won't complain, it's better than a North Dakota winter) so that, combined with the amount of booze that our team consumes, and the over/under for team members being taken to the hospital is solidly set at 2.5. I'm not a betting man, but my money is on Lane going down first.
Seriously, I am STARVING right now.
