That's So Raven

Quickly on the Super Bowl: Great game; the kind of game that reminds you why you watch sports, even when the whole world (myself included) has already decided the outcome. I am happy for the Giants because of everything Tiki Barber has said the last year (that must have been quite a workout, throwing so many people under the bus like that), but I don't understand how Eli is such a hero now: for taking so much abuse from the media the last couple years, getting out of his brother's shadow, and all that other hoopla. Umm, remember when he whined and pouted and refused to play for San Diego when they drafted him? He asked to play for New York and he knew (or should've known) what the media there was like. He was a baby then; I'm not gonna be happy for him now. I'm also bitter because I picked the G-men to win the SB last year and they sucked.

Went to Manhattan, KS last night and saw the Funny Or Die comedy show. A tip of the cap to DVJS for finding the tickets; I haven't been keeping my ear to the streets lately, and I had no idea it was even coming to a theater near us. It featured Dmitri Martin (the kind of quiet dude who uses the giant notepad with funny sketches), Zack Galifianakis (the dude with the beard from Out Cold), Nick Swardson (my boy), and was hosted by Will Ferrell (my hero.) The crowd was weak sauce (and I'm not just saying that cause it was at K-State, they really were lame), but the show was very funny nonetheless. In an unrelated story, Manhattan smells like the inside of a wooden leg, filled with rotten eggs and dead hamsters.

I tried my best to remember some of my favorite jokes....Dmitri didn't have a whole lot of really memorable ones, but a couple that I enjoyed:

"I was walking down the street and saw a really ugly pregnant lady. I was like: Good for you."

"Do you think there were goth kids in the gothic era? And what would people say to them? Hey. You look completely appropriate. Yeah, you fit in nicely with the architecture. You don't look stupid and lonely at all."

Galifianakis was surprisingly hiiii-larious. He was great in 'Out Cold' and 'Dog Bites Man', but I didn't know if he would transfer well to stand-up. He did:

"Sometimes I like to sit in a public place and read a bible to myself....except when people walk by. Then I like to mutter things like: Oh, BULLSHIT!!!"

"At what point do you tell a highway it's adopted? I say when it's like 7....cause that's about the time it's saying to itself: Hey, you know, I don't look anything like the Kiwanis Club."

"Did you hear about the high school kid who had sex with his teacher a couple months ago? I was on CNN.com today and saw that he passed away. Yep, the kid died.....from high-fiving."

"You know how some people have gay-dar? Well, I have fat-dar. I can look at you and tell if you're fat right away......I also have cerebral palsy-dar."

Everything Swardson says is funny to me, plus he doesn't really have a lot of one-liner jokes, so I can't really retype anything here. With Dave Chapelle disappearing off the face of the earth, and Dane Cook sucking worse than Jason Giambi once he stopped taking steroids, the torch has been passed to Swardson as my favorite comic.

The highlight of my evening was in-between sets, when there was a special appearance by the man who quite simply changed my life, the one and only Ron Burgundy. He came out and bullshitted for awhile and improvved an interview with K-State's football coach, but I have to be honest, he could've just came out and stood there for 10 minutes, not said a word, and I would've cheered the whole time. Was it sad that I had goosebumps when he came out? I felt like a 12-year-old girl at a Backstreet Boys concert.

It's me, Papa Burgundy! Hi-yoooo! I'm very aroused.