Shaq gets traded to the Suns. Wow. I can't remember a trade that was so big, so unexpected, and so quick to happen from start to finish since....like a week ago, when the Lakers got Pau Gasol. Hearing all the sports columnists tear into Phoenix right after it happened was an enjoyable time. Since everyone has to hear my opinion about everything, I thought I would give everyone else an opportunity to voice theirs, and I asked a random cross-section of people in my life what they think of the trade, with varying results:
Group 1: The uninterested/uninformed
Sweeney - "I'm not as worried about that as the Twins trading Johan!"
My Pops - "Shoot, hadn't even heard about it. I haven't read the sports in a week. Shaq's pretty cool, I guess." (my grandma, his mom, just passed away, so I suppose he's forgiven)
Kyle - "Not too many thoughts about it. It seems kinda weird. I found myself cheering for Duke against Carolina, though. It's official, I hate UNC." (side note: Me too. It was really, really weird not being pissed off watching Duke win. I still hate them both though.)
The old lady who works the early shift at Sonic - "Oh, hun, you know, I don't even follow that stuff. I do know who Shaq is though...HAHAHAHAHAAA!..........well, here's your Strawberry Limeade."
Lady behind register at gas station: Blank stare. I clear my throat and pretend like I didn't say anything at all.
Group 2: This trade makes me feel good inside
Booker T, the guy who is doing construction in our building - "Oh yeah, you know Shaq is my man! Y'all can just give Phoenix the trophy now!"
Group 3: I have mixed feelings about this trade
MyShawn - "Not sure his crippled ass can keep up with the up tempo game. However it does give them a true center that they haven't had."
Jud - "Is he done? What does he have left in the tank?"
Group 4: I hate everything about this trade, and fuck you for asking
Ricky - "reDICKulous the Suns got robbed but I hate the Suns so I'm ok with it. Shaq is overrated, he's nothing more than a 12 and 8 guy getting paid 8 mil a year, if he plays."
Amber - "I wouldn't want an 8 foot long ape who's hurt every week and can't make a free throw to save his 8 foot long dick, either!" (You stay classy, Schatz.)
St. Aubyn - "Maybe he will get off the DL and play some ball instead of acting like a pussy in Miami."
Bergman - "Suns are idiots. Shaq is done. Although I don't know if anyone wanted Marion."
The dude at the gas pump next to me, as he was getting back into his car - "Shaq sucks!"
DVJS - "Fuck the Suns."
So there you have it. Not a whole lot of love for Phoenix or Shaq here. The comments section is open for business. Tell me how you feel. Bonus points if you can name where the title of this post came from. Schne, you aren't allowed to guess, I know you know it because you and I used to sing this in the locker room in high school (no homo.)
