Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Home Ownership

You know what's awesome?  When your next-door neighbors have moved away, but the house hasn't sold yet.  Now the lawn barely ever gets mowed, and so no matter how shitty my lawn looks (which is pretty shitty, don't get it twisted) it still looks immaculate compared to the adjacent lawn, which looks like Robin Williams just rolled double threes during a game of Jumanji. 

So I'm going to go ahead and adjust my mowing schedule accordingly-- meaning you'll be lucky to see me out there more than twice a month.  Edging and trimming just got rescheduled to once every six weeks.  Spraying for weeds and watering the grass will occur during the next political regime change in Cuba, or whenever Halley's Comet appears again, whichever comes first.

(On a related note, if you ever wanted to live next door to me, now's your chance.  It's a great 5 bedroom, 3 bathroom unit, built in 2001 and ready for immediate move-in.  Yard needs work.)