Don't worry, don't worry. I'm not gonna do....what you all think I'm gonna do....which is just FLIP OUT!
This isn't another Johnny Damon situation. Really, the only similarity is that a center fielder who most of the female fan base wants to bang (and a portion of the male fan base, whether they admit it or not, and I will freely admit it) signed a free agent contract with the Yankees. The reason Damon's signing was so tragic is that he portrayed himself to be Red Sox to his core, and stated on multiple occasions that he'd never sign with the Yankees, then did it anyway. Ellsbury made it clear from the beginning that he was going to the highest bidder, and had a strained relationship with the Boston front office for years now anyway. I've been prepared for Ellsbury to move on since about May of 2012; it was pretty much inevitable. Even more so once it became clear that my boy Jackie Bradley Jr. was waiting in the wings.
So really, the only bummer is that he had to sign with the friggin' Yankees. Why couldn't the Mariners or Rangers or somebody come up with the cash this one time? (Side note: The one good thing about the Yankees signing Ellsbury is that I think they wayyyy overpaid for him; his main asset is speed, and he's now on the wrong side of 30. He'll probably hit a few more homers with New York's short porch in right, but this contract could still look more than a little Carl Crawford-ish in a few years. Not that that matters with the Yankees' "budget.")
When an ex-Red Sox signs with any other team besides New York, it's much easier to tip your cap and remember the good times as they walk out the door. (Good luck with the Marlins, Salty. Probably shouldn't have tried this throw, but hey, whatever. Champs, dude!) But now, despite Ells being a huge part of two World Series Championships-- not to mention providing all of America with a free taco by stealing a base in the 2007 World Series-- every time I see him in pinstripes from now on, there will be at least 40% of me thinking "Man, fuck that guy."
The lesson here, of course, is to stop having man-crushes on Red Sox center fielders. I promise that will never happen again.
Dammit! Too late. Promise me you'll never leave me, JBJ. PROMISE ME.
