Lawrence got hit with a couple of "snowstorms" within the last week, and as a result, I had three full snow days, during which I pulled a Peter Gibbons and did nothing, all day long. Snow Day #1 I had a pretty bad hanger, since the night before, we were out at a bar watching the KU game, planning on having a beer or two and calling it a night, but as soon as I heard work was cancelled, I stopped being polite and started getting real. Predictably, I caught a cold soon after, so Snow Days #2 and #3 were spent milking said cold. On the plus side, it gave me a chance to rip through the first season of Twin Peaks (I am a David Lynch fan. I really am. I celebrate his entire collection) and order season 2 on Amazon for $3.75-- dammit I love Amazon.
It also provided ample time for one of my favorite random activities that I rarely get to do anymore: fire up the ol' youtube and fall through some rabbit holes.....
Can we all take a second to appreciate how awesome Shawn Kemp was back in the day, before he got fat and turned into a punchline for having like seven different baby mamas? Just an unbelievable in-traffic dunker. He was MADE for youtube. Also, nobody will ever be as good at hanging and/or swinging on the rim as he was. Nowadays, you get T'd up immediately for dangling half as long as the Reign Man did (no homo).
I had seen Encino Man once in my life: right when it came out in '92, when I was 10 years old. I didn't remember a whole bunch about it except for two things: Pauly Shore said lots of Pauly Shore things, like "weezin' on my grindage" and calling old people "crusters"....and that the villain of the movie loved to yell "SHOOSH!" like it was his catchphrase or something. So Teens and I watched it last week on the DVR.....and I was thoroughly entertained by the aforementioned villain. His performance was an absolute tour de force. He's a comedic genius. What happened to that guy? Why didn't he become famous? Is he still alive now? Can I hire him for parties and stuff? I'll give him $75 bucks to come to my house, right now, and tell Teens to "SHOOSH!"
So anyway, go watch Encino Man. It's better than you remember it, I promise.
Does anybody else remember this commercial? We used to drive Senora Taylor INSANE singing this in Spanish class. Between commercials like this, and Star Wars promos, and their insanely shitty yet addictive recipes, Taco Bell was really good at luring me through their doors when I was 15. If Taco Bell was an online predator, it would've been a successful one.
Brought to me by DVJS. Tears of laughter. I know I worry about all the telltale signs that I'm getting older, but then I watch videos like this and die laughing, and I'm reminded that my youth isn't entirely gone. Feels like yesterday that we were playing 'Supermarket Sweep', where we'd sprint around the store throwing things in the cart and yelling and carrying on, then ditching the cart in some aisle and quietly walking out the door.
Now don't get me wrong: I love gangsta rap, and gangsta rap battles, with B-Rabbit and 8 Mile and his "Fuck Free World! 313!" and Tupac telling Biggie "That's why I fucked yo' bitch you fat mutha fucka" and all that.....but it's refreshing to hear the comparative wholesomeness of a party rap battle. If I was black (I can only wish) I would have THRIVED in the late 80's-early 90's. My favorite line:
"You issued the challenge, yeah you threw it up
Step to the stage- TOO LATE- I blew it up!"
OHHHHHH SNAPS.
It was fortuitous that I stumbled into this video when I did, since there has been such an uproar over Elijah Johnson's unnecessary dunk as time expired vs. Iowa St. the other night, putting a cap on his insane 39-point night, as well as one of the craziest games I've watched in my whole life (besides the obligatory social media uproar, he also received death threats and racial slurs, as well as he and the rest the team being pelted with debris while walking off the court). Here's a video of the greatest and most beloved basketball player of all time, doing exactly the same thing during his North Carolina days-- from the looks of it, causing a bench-clearing brawl in the process. These things happen in basketball from time to time, especially at the college level. KU fans were just on the other end of this spectrum, when we watched Marcus Smart do a backflip on the court when Okie St. beat KU at the Phog a few weeks ago. It was not a national tragedy. It's going to be OK, Twitter.
I didn't want to end on a feisty note. My bad. Here's a video of goats that sound like humans:
