According to me and Encyclopedia Brown, there are really only four explanations:
1. The anonymous gifter had a sudden change of heart and took the chocolates back
2. The one person working in the office that day stole them
3. An unrelated third party stole them
4. The night janitor stole them
My rebuttals:
1. Possible, but unlikely. Your heart has shrunk three sizes that day if you're pulling that move. You on some serious Grinch shit, son.
2. Again possible, but unlikely. Pulling a rip job where you steal something, knowing that the subject of the missing item will inevitably surface a week later, then acting surprised when it does and concocting the story of the disappearing item and deflecting your possible guilt at that point.....that's a level of fiendishness that I am unfamiliar with.
3. Very doubtful. There were only three or four regular staff working in the entire building that day, unless some faculty members came in at night to get some work done.
4. Definitely the most likely scenario....
For some unexplained reason, me and the janitor got beef, yo. (The janitors only recently switched to working overnights, so for the first 9 months or so at this job, we would regularly see the janitors during the day.) I am generally nice to all strangers. I smile and say hello to everyone I see in the hall, and if it's somebody I see regularly, I make an attempt to become at least small talk partners, if not genuine friends. But from the start, this lady wasn't having it. Her reply was usually a somewhat disdainful look in my direction and a "hello" through almost gritted teeth. At first, I just thought she was anti-social, but that theory was thrown out when I noticed her being super-friendly and going out of her way to strike up conversations with the ladies in the office. I started thinking about my own actions. Have I ever littered in front of her, something that would she would take as a clear slap in the face? No. Not intentionally, anyway-- but it's not like I'm strolling down the hallways with garbage in my hands, so the possibility that I accidentally missed a garbage can while she was walking behind me is very remote. Is my desk and surrounding area a disaster zone, that she hates to clean and, as an extension, makes her hate me? Shouldn't be. There are some occasional crumbs on the floor, since I almost always hammer my hot pockets at my desk...but no worse than anyone else in the office. It's unexplainable, but she's just not that into me.
To be honest, I don't care that much about not getting the chocolates. I'm not a huge chocoloate fan (the office ladies, who are well aware of my eating habits, immediately starting joking that if it was a bag of Doritos or a Chipotle burrito that got stolen instead of chocolates, I'd be contacting the campus police. HA. HA.) But that doesn't mean I have to take this lying down. It's the lack of respect that hurts the most. Like I'm that sucka that can be stole from. Yo, if she want beef, then I'll serve her a pork chop. This thing is gonna end like Tupac and Biggie. I feel like Snoop Dogg at the '95 Source Awards, except I'm yelling at the custodial staff. Y'all don't love me? Y'all ain't got no love for Jum Hammonds? Well let it be known then! I know where I'm at, I know y'all East Coast!
I mean, for real, if you're a janitor, and you're gonna screw around with stuff when nobody is around, at least solve some impossible math problems or something. Shit.
