>> A couple years ago I introduced a lot of my boys to Aziz Ansari. I was in a prime spot on the bandwagon because of the Raaaaaaaandy! videos, and I sold a lot of tickets onto said bandwagon. Some time later, Aziz came to perform in Lawrence, and somehow I had no clue it was happening...until J-Dub texted me during the middle of the show, telling me how hilarious Aziz was in person. I was pissed. Not only did I not know Aziz was performing mere miles from my house, but the very people whose lives I had enriched by giving them Aziz all went to the show together, sans me. I raged on J-Dub that day (with a crystal clear "I'm just kidding around, but seriously you guys are dicks" kind of tone) and he never forgot it. So when Aziz came to Kansas City a couple weeks ago, he bought Christine and I tickets to come along with him and Ashlee, as atonement for the last time. His only request was that I give him props in the blog, since I blogged about what a jerkface he was the first time around. So here you go.
>> Sooo, the Anchorman sequel.....I'm gonna have to give it a whirl, but I'm a little bit scared and a little bit excited and mostly just nervous that it's not gonna be as amazing and life-changing as the first one. So it's basically just like I felt when I was about to give my second $4 handjob behind the dumpster at Taco Bell.
>> So it seems like every single Red Sox story that has broken in the last nine months is just bad news piled on top of more bad news (fried chicken and beer in the clubhouse; Francona is a pill-popper and an adulterer, let's blame the collapse on him and run him out of town; Ortiz isn't a true clubhouse leader; injuries to Ellsbury, Youk, Crawford, Bailey, Lackey-- oh wait that last one is FANTASTIC news, I feel guilty that I didn't get to chip in for Lackey's Tommy John surgery.) But there is a silver lining to the latest controversy, the "Josh Beckett played golf in between starts when he was supposed to be injured OMFG" story. Beckett, being the true dick that he is (in a good way, I say) during the press conference afterwards, refused to apologize for golfing, and multiple times during the presser repeated the line "My off-days are my off-days." I laughed when I read it, I laughed more when I heard it, and now it's ingrained in my lexicon. I look forward to beating that phrase into the ground over the next few years. I come home at 4am when I said I was just going out for a couple of Happy Hour beers...hey, my off-days are my off-days. I win 27 games of beanbags in a row, talking trash to everyone at the party, including the host's parents....my off-days are my off-days. I get refused service at a ritzy bar in Louisville because I forgot I was back-pocketing a Miller High Life when we walked in....my off days are my off days.
I love it. Just when "Sorry for partying" was starting to lose steam for me, Beckett goes ahead and drops this little gem in my lap. Thanks Joshy.
