Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Mom, Jimmy Brooks, Johnny Damon

>> A couple weeks ago, my Mom became the last person on Earth to finally get a cell phone. She (obviously) does a pretty good job of resisting new technology, and when I was younger, she attacked video games like Tipper Gore attacked inappropriate music lyrics**. So it's been extremely entertaining lately to picture her face after I send her texts like "U R ez to luv! :)"

Not surprisingly, I've been getting a lot of responses that are just a question mark.

**Really the only reason we didn't get along so well when I was growing up. Now that I'm long moved out of the house, and she doesn't personally see how much time I waste creating players and simulating Tecmo Super Bowl seasons, or doing Super MarioKart time trials, or beating Streets of Rage for the millionth time, our relationship is pretty good. My favorite fight of ours ever ended with her calling the Nintendo 64 an 'idiot box', me screaming "Don't EVER talk about N64 that way!" and then getting out of the car and slamming the door in her face, as Bergman tried not to bust out laughing. Thanks for the ride to school, MOM.

>> I refuse to admit that hip-hop artist Drake is any good. (Besides the fact that, as I've mentioned a bunch of times before, I think all mainstream hip-hop sucks these days. Remember when MTV featured Tupac, Dre, Biggie, Snoop, etc.? Now two of those four are (allegedly) dead, Dre has been "in the process of releasing" his latest CD since 2004, and Snoop is rapping in Katy Perry songs. Tupac would be spinning in his grave if he hadn't faked his death.) So putting all that aside, I just cannot take Drake seriously. Why? Because I know him from the cheesy Canadian version of Saved by the Bell-- Degrassi: The Next Generation. (For the sake of the discussion, we're going to ignore the fact that I regularly watch such a nerdy show, as it might hurt my credibility when claiming that Drake is the real nerd.)

Are there other examples from older generations? For example, I am juuuust a little too young for Mark Wahlberg's stint as Marky Mark to have affected me. I wasn't aware enough yet to realize how brutal he and his Funky Bunch were, and so his subsequent career as an actor is untarnished in my mind. But for someone like ten years older, do they think Mark Wahlberg the actor is a joke? Do our grandparents think Ronald Reagan was a ridiculous president? (That will be another hilarious example, years from now, when a whole generation of kids think of Arnold as the Governor of California, not the Terminator.) Are there other older examples? Anyways, for me, Drake will never be a great rapper, no matter how big he gets....he'll just be Jimmy, the kid who spent most of high school in a wheelchair after he was the victim in a school shooting at Degrassi.





>> Johnny Damon....wow. Just the possibility of him coming back to the Sox has me floored. I have always held a huge grudge on Damon for leaving (although I still inexplicably love Manny with all my heart) and part of me still boos the shit out of him every time he comes to the plate.....but I don't know, it would be nice to welcome him back and make some new memories, so I don't have to watch Game 7 of the 2004 ALCS every three weeks to make myself feel good again. Stay tuned, I guess.