Saturday, March 27, 2010

You Sold My Dead Bird To A Blind Kid?

This happened almost two weeks ago, but between the ol' booze-brain that night, and March Madness starting shortly after, I kinda forgot about it:

So JonJon, Schne, Alex and I are hitting the sauce at Louise's West and talking about random stuff, and the conversation turns to fake names (shocker, one of my favorite topics.)

Me: I've been using Billy Enforsee a lot lately. It's kinda awesome, but nobody really gets it.

Schne: Who?

Me: Billy Enforsee....from Dumb & Dumber.....the blind kid that they sell Petey to? Remember?

Schne: Ohhh Billy! Wait, how do you know his last name? Do they say it in the credits?

Me: No, dude. They say it in the movie....you know...."How did you raise 25 bucks?"...."I sold some stuff. To Billy Enforsee....."

~everyone at the table exchanges confused glances~

Schne: You mean Billy, in 4C?

~now it's my turn to look confused for a couple seconds~

Me: Wait, what....

~entire table explodes into laughter, I have no choice but to join in~


The funniest thing is I have watched this movie, at my best estimate, about 125 times. There is no movie in my life that I have watched (or will watch) more than this one. I wrote about it in more detail a long time ago, but at one point in my life I could recite the entire movie from start to finish. And never once, not even ONCE, did the thought even enter my mind that the blind kid's name was Billy in 4C. I didn't take into account that they lived in an apartment building. I didn't think about how the odds were pretty low that they would know the kid's last name (earlier in the movie, Harry calls Mrs. Neugeboren "Mrs. Noogieburger", and Lloyd shows off his last name-remembering-abilities later in the movie....."Samsonite! I was way off! Knew it started with an S though.")

So now I'm wondering if this becomes one of those all-time dumb things you say, that all your friends can make fun of you for like 20 years about. (Currently, I only have one under my belt: when I was around 16 or 17, Bergman, Brother and I saw a commercial for one of those cash tornado booths, where the person is trying to grab as many swirling dollar bills as they can in 60 seconds or whatever, and I remarked "If I was in one of those things, I would just wear a velcro suit." You know, cause paper sticks to velcro. I still get made fun of for that one.)

In my defense: in the movie, it totally sounds like he says Billy EnFORsee, rather than Billy EnforSEE, which initially steered me in the wrong direction. However, common sense needs to kick in at some point and tell me "hey dipshit, it's Billy in 4C." I linked the clip for your convenience, it's around the 30 second mark.

So I'm leaning towards yeah, this is something I deserve to get ripped on forever for. It might not quite be on the same level as Paul saying he taped the 'Donna Martin Graduates' episode of 90210, but it's at least as bad as MyShawn hearing 'Me And Julio Down By The Schoolyard' on the jukebox and exclaiming "All right! Cat Stevens!" Just like how we call MyShawn 'Cat Stevens' all the time now, JonJon and Schne have already started calling me 'Billy Enforsee.'

My only consolation is that you can google 'Billy Enforsee' or 'Billy Enforcee' and all kinds of things will come up, so I know I'm not alone. Tell me there's someone out there in my shoes, and whose mind just got blown by this post, at least as much as mine was last week.....