Tuesday, December 15, 2009

There Must Be Some Toros In The Atmosphere

>> Another reason (probably the main reason) why I enjoy living in Kansas so much more than North Dakota: when the locals are bitching about how cold the weather is, it doesn't mean that your car has a 20% chance of starting in the morning, and it doesn't mean that the National Weather Service is issuing statements that it's unsafe to be outside for longer than 15 minutes.....it simply means that it's 20 degrees outside.


>> Well, I managed to back-door my way in to the fantasy football playoffs, thanks to another 140+ point week from my boys, and Lane upsetting Fundy by 2 points (Lane, you made it clear that helping me make the playoffs was painful for you; just remember that having to cheer for you all day Sunday was equally painful for me.) It's still crazy I had to rely on a bunch of teams in front of me dusting off a New York Mets routine in order to make the playoffs though. I finished the year 65 points ahead of the second-best team in the league, and only a 7-7 record (here, I'll save Bergman from having to comment on this: he was the second-place team in points, and he finished 6-8. Not a lot of justice in our league this year.) So now everyone gets to hear me brag about how amazing my team is if I win the title in a couple weeks, but that's no worse than hearing me continue to bitch how bad I got robbed this year, and referring to our playoffs as the Asterik Bowl....isn't it?


>> Color me unimpressed with Boston's moves so far this offseason. I guess I'll wait for my formal opinion until all the dust settles, because sometimes Theo doesn't reveal his true intentions until a couple weeks later (does signing Mike Cameron lead to Jacoby Ellsbury getting shipped out in a potential deal for Adrian Gonzalez?) but I do know that last year's lineup struggled often enough that re-signing Jason Bay was absolutely imperative, and that John Lackey is probably my least favorite non-Yankee in the entire league. I am less than excited to have to cheer for him every fifth day next year. When MLB'10 is released and I start my season, I'll be utilizing the 'skip to next half inning' option for every one of Lackey's starts. I'm not pitching with that shithead. Is this how Yankee fans felt when they signed Johnny Damon?


>> I hope everyone is watching Jersey Shore. I've been off the Real World train for like seven years now (the Vegas season put me over the edge. That's when it stopped being about real life and started being completely ridiculous) but this show is almost indescribably amazing. The 'watching a show while unmercilessly tearing apart everything about it' potential is through the roof. UNBELIEVABLE. I'll be tuning in.


>> John Wall is stupid good. Like Derrick Rose at the same point in his freshman year, only with a jump shot, more dunking, and more turnovers. Congratulations Coach Cal, you cheating bastard: I am officially scared to play Kentucky. I know I've only seen Wall play four games, but assuming he doesn't suck the rest the year, I'm ready to put him on my list of most jaw-droppingly-impressive freshmen I've ever watched:

1. Kevin Durant
2. Chris Webber
3. Allen Iverson
4. Shaquille O'Neal
5. Shaquille O'Neal in Blue Chips (aka Neon Boudeaux)
6. John Wall
7. Carmelo Anthony
238. Brady Morningstar