Whenever something new and/or high tech comes along, my first reaction is usually to make fun of it. That's how I roll, son. (Read: that's how insecure people like me feel better about themselves.) In addition, I am notorious (NO-NO-NO-Notorrrrrious!) for enjoying things months or even years after they have already hit their popularity peak. One of my nicknames on The Boards is Ace, as in Ace of Base, as in the Swedish pop band that dominated popular music in 1994, as in "You just heard Ace of Base for the first time last week and think they're awesome. Boom Roasted."
I spent most of high school making fun of people (Bergman took the brunt of it) for gelling and dyeing their hair. Throughout most of high school/college I kept my hair buzzed, but I've now been gellin' like a felon for the majority of the last two years now. I dyed my hair a couple times back in the day, but really that was only because my de facto "hair stylist" Buckley and I would get bored, so I'd let her experiment on my hair. I'm not really counting that.
When cell phones first became en vogue, I was a non-supporter. I was very anti-cell phone. I was prejudiced against people who had them. (If it was an episode of Seinfeld, I would have been called an anti-cellulite, which works because I am also against girls who don't keep their ass and legs toned and firm.) Really? You are really so popular that you need to be reached no matter where you are? Here's a hint: you're probably in the basement of some frat house gettin' totally bombed, bro. Fast forward to the summer after freshman year of college, and I was scrambling to get my own celly. Scrambling.
During one of our tax classes in college, which was held in a computer lab, I relentlessly ripped on Noles and Storhaug for spending hours and hours creeping on facebook (side note: don't misconstrue this is as me paying attention in class while they didn't. Rest assured I was navigating the worldwide web myself, but instead of facebook, I was reading old Bill Simmons articles and sending multiple page emails to Bergman and ADawg, who were in Iraq. I also embarked on an intense Google Earth mission to find where my car was in Grand Forks on whatever day they took that satellite photo, but I've never found it, and I'm convinced that I was out of town that day. Moral of the story: if you want college kids to pay attention, don't hold class in a computer lab with high-speed internet at their fingertips.) In any event, after all my shit-talking.....three years later, I was signing up for a facebook account.
And so we come to present day (there are undoubtedly many more examples of things that I made fun of, then joined years later....if you are one of those people I ripped into, here's your chance to let me know how you felt about it. This is your day of retribution.) As of Monday, I am the not-so-proud owner of a Blackberry. I didn't need one, and didn't particularly want one.....but I was due for a contract renewal, the cell phone selection at Sprint was basically buy a Blackberry or buy this piece of garbage, and it's only $10 more per month for me to have unlimited messaging, internet, and television on this little guyski. So there you go.
A couple months ago, Jonye purchased a Blackberry, and we jumped all over him, calling it a Doucheberry, Gayberry, Fagberry, Homoberry, etc. etc. He took a lot of crap for a long time, and now, suddenly, I find myself on his side of the fence. It's OK so far, I still find some of the phone options a little bit unnecessary...but give me a couple of months, and I'll be like every other Blackberry owner out there. Especially the "thinking I'm awesome because of my phone" part.
So if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go douche it up on my Doucheberry....and listen to this new Ace of Base CD. Have you guys heard it? It's fantastic. These guys aren't going away anytime soon.
All that she wants
Is another baby, she's gone tomorrow boy
All that she wants, is another baby...shit sticks in your head, it's crazy.
