And let the record show that back in the day, I used to be supportive of Carolina. One year in high school Fundy and I played on the same 3-on-3 intramural team, and we even named the team the TarHawks, due to our college basketball allegiances (and yeah I know that's incredibly gay, but c'mon- we were 16. On the list of "Things We Did That Year That We Thought Was Really Clever But Was Actually Gay....Seriously" that would probably only rank 7th or 8th.)
But now, in 2009, due to extenuating circumstances, I cannot be happy for North Carolina or their fans.
Pictured: Extenuating Circumstances.Anyway, here's what annoyed me about last night:
- During the pregame show, both Greg Anthony AND Seth Davis picking Michigan St. to win. As I remarked to Alex at the time, that's a 5th grader's pick. That's a little kid's pick. That's a pick from someone looking to go on national TV and make a splash. Let me do my impression of Seth Meyers from SNL (and also Schneweis when he's really hammered): Really? You realllly thought Michigan St. was going to beat Carolina. Really. Even when Carolina beat Michigan St. earlier this year, in this very city, on this very floor, by 35 points? When Carolina hadn't had a game closer than 12 points the entire tournament? Really? When Carolina returned every major player from a Final Four team last year, whose only acceptable conclusion to this season was to win the title? Really.
- The game itself sucked. It was over by the second TV timeout, and every person on the planet knew it. Carolina knew it, MSU knew it, and the 278,000 MSU fans in Ford Field who were supposed to give MSU such a great home-court advantage knew it. I'm not sure if that's the real number of fans, I'm no mathemetician, I just know that I was pretty bored with hearing about that attendance record last night. Most fans to ever attend a Final Four game, did you hear?
- Here's one of the things I hate most about March Madness, and it happens often: when a shitty team (MSU in this example) ends KU's season, ruins my bracket, and just all around pisses me off....and then, when I finally DO want them to win, they all of a sudden play like I thought they would play 3 games ago. Thanks for beating UCONN and taking away any shot we had at an exciting national championship game. That was anybody's game for about 3 minutes there, it was pretty exciting.
- Good Ol' Roy is building a legacy now. Here was his legacy at KU: choker. Now he's at a school that pretty much recruits itself, and he's stockpiling national titles. So that's nice. (Not to say he was a bad recruiter at KU- he was phenomenal. But seriously, does Roy even have to go on recruiting trips and entice players to come to Chapel Hill? Or is he just accepting the best of the best, and turning the others away like Kristen Bell with Star Wars nerds at Comic-Con....hi-yoooooo! Baa-zing!)
- All the praise that Lawson, Ellington, and Green are getting for "coming back to school to win a national championship." Bullshit. Those three came back to school because they tested the NBA draft waters, found out they weren't getting drafted as high as they would like, and THEN came back. Give Hansbrough credit (gasp!) because he came back right away, before the other three had made up their minds. So he didn't even know if he had a great team this year or not- he just legitimately loved being at Carolina. But to pretend that the others came back because they loved college/wanted to win a national championship is just naive.
- I don't mean to take anything away from North Carolina here: they shot the ball extremely well and played pretty awesome basketball this month. But would it have been too much to ask for just ONE TEAM to step up and play even halfway decently against them? I don't have the numbers in front of me, and I'm no statitician, but Oklahoma started out like 1-19 on 3-pointers or something ridiculous like that. Ditto Villanova, with the added bonus that they couldn't make a layup, dunk, free throw, or any shot that game. And Michigan St. had about 1 turnover for every fan they had in Ford Field last night (411,000? Was that the number? It was a record crowd, you know.) And these turnovers/missed shots were rarely caused by Carolina's defense. Bottom line: teams just shit the bed against Carolina in the tournament this year.
- Finally, last night sucked because it was so inevitable. (Say this in the voice of the "O-face" guy from Office Space: "Hell, OBAMA picked them!") Ever since last June, when we found out that every player would be back for Carolina this year, and we knew that there was no other elite team this year in the entire NCAA, it was pretty obvious that Carolina would walk to the title. I hoped against hope that some crazy March Madness upset would derail this championship train (which really shouldn't be that insane of a wish- considering Roy got upset as a high seed with KU like EVERY OTHER YEAR) but alas, it was not to be. Carolina did indeed walk to the title. And that sucks.
In conclusion, I offer a half-hearted congratulations to all the Carolina fans out there. Seriously, it's hard work cheering for the most successful, most popular team in the country, and you should be commended for your loyalty. Plus, the baby blue argyle on their jerseys is SO sweet looking!
