Say Hi To Your Mother For Me, OK?

-- When I was cleaning out my wallet yesterday, I stumbled upon another negative of the Red Sox losing. I had a $100 ticket from Caesar's Palace on the Sox to win the World Series. I do not recall placing that bet, which is not surprising, considering I was borderline blacked out (or completely blacked out) for at least 40% of the time I was in Vegas. However, me not winning that bet probably saves me money in the long run, because I probably would've just taken those winnings right to Orbitz and bought myself a plane ticket to Vegas and blown more money. Remember, kids, it's only a gambling problem if you're losing.


-- The other night, within a span of two hours of each other, I received texties from two different people, in two different states: one said something to the effect of "Hey I just heard some Styx on the radio and I thought of you!" and another that said "Yo I'm at a party and someone started blasting some Wu-Tang, like back in the day, son. Wu-Tang Clan ain't nuthin' to fuck with!" What are the odds of that? I defy you to find another person who simultaneously represents cheesy arena rock and hardcore rap to two different people. For the record, I also receive texties from Katie every time she hears 'Don't Stop Believin' in some capacity, and I've probably got the market cornered on MC Hammer as well.


-- So I noticed this a while ago when I was watching the Who Shot Mr. Burns episode of The Simpsons, and it's been nagging at me ever since. So I googled "Who Shot Mr. Burns" and sure enough, on the first page I find a perfect shot of what I'm looking for.




My question is this: if one of the small buttons on Burns' remote control blocks out the fucking sun, then what the hell does the giant red button do? I shudder to think of the possibilities.

You should've learned two things from the above paragraph:

1. You can find absolutely ANYTHING on the internet if you need to.
2. I am a huuuuge nerd. Huge.


-- Normally it doesn't take much to get me giggling, especially when it comes to stupid comedy. I also enjoy really good impressions (which is why the Frank TV commercials don't drive me crazy like most other people.) AND I've had a huge boner for Andy Samberg (no homo) ever since I saw Hot Rod a few months ago. ANNNNNND I've always thought Mark Wahlberg has a funny accent; Haley and I have been doing the Marky Mark voice since 9th grade. So basically, this SNL sketch is the perfect storm for me. I've watched this before work every morning all week, and I've totally been gettin' my LOL on, bro.


Happy Friday. Here's hoping that everyone gets superduper drunk this weekend. You have only to believe if you wish to achieve. That rhymed. Unintentional.