Thursday, January 3, 2008

2007 In Sports

If you're looking for an unbiased review of sports in 2007, you have absolutely come to the wrong place.


The Good:

Boston Red Sox, 2007 World Series Champs. The championship that (maybe) finally gave me some perspective. The beginning of the year was promising, as the Sox built up the best record in baseball, and the Yankees looked like their dynasty was crumbling. But could I enjoy it? No. I spent the most of the summer bitching about Drew, Lugo, GAGNE (which I don't take back, he is a total douche) and telling everyone who would listen (thanks for tolerating me, Danny) that the Yanks were winning it all and that the Sox just didn't have it this year. Then the Angel series reminded me why this team was special to me, and I was able to keep it together when they went down 3-1 to Cleveland (thank you, 2004.) I think I had real, actual fun cheering for a team again, something that I constantly struggle with. I think I may actually be normal next year.


Golden State Warriors. Their playoff games were like college games, only with more highly skilled, infinitely crazier players. Incredibly entertaining to watch. Also NBA-related good things: Bron-Bron; the return of the Celtics and Blazers; the league-wide increase in talent.


Kevin Durant, Greg Oden, the one year out of high school rule. This is kind of a double-edged sword. On one hand, getting to see this kind of talent in college ball, rather than sitting on the bench (or playing and struggling) in the pros, is exciting as hell. Kevin Durant put on shows that I doubt I'll ever see from a freshman again, and Oden had plenty of "oh my goodness!" moments in the tourney. Another plus of the "one year out of high school" rule relates to guys like Darrell Arthur. Without the rule in place, he goes straight to the NBA from high school, and seeing how he struggled as a frosh last year, he probably sucks in the pros for a good 3 or 4 years, if he even makes it at all. Now, not only does he play one year, he sticks around for another, and could maybe make an impact on an NBA team next year. However, knowing that these guys are one and done is a total tease, especially for those respective fan bases. You know they're gone after that year, so if they don't win a championship right away, that's that. The other downfall of this trend is that there are barely any talented upperclassmen any more, and while there is talent among the youngsters, it is raw talent, and the overall level of play in the NCAA is garbage now compared to 15 years ago. Overall, though, I'll take the opportunity to see guys like Durant and Oden play in college, if only for a year.



The Bad:

Michael Vick, Tim Donaghy, Barry Bonds, the Mitchell Report. It would depress me to go into these any further. Remember when we were 12 and the worst thing in the world was the baseball strike, or MJ retiring to go play minor league baseball? Wow I miss those days.


College football. I'm sorry in advance for any college football fans, but your sport sucks. Hard. Any sport where almost EVERY SINGLE YEAR there is a giant fucking argument on who deserves to play for the national title game is a shitty sport. Lose a game early on, you could be OK. Lose a game late, you're fucked. Play a brutal schedule and have two close losses? Too bad. Maybe you should transfer out of the SEC--I heard the Big East is looking for more teams. Play a cakewalk schedule and only one loss? Right this way, sir, your table at the BCS championship is ready. Oh, you made it to your conference championship game, but lost to another top 10 team, while these guys sat on their asses and watched? Sorry. Have fun in the Prudential Gillette Aflac Morgan Stanley Dean Witter Bowl. I'm not sure that company is even called Morgan Stanley Dean Witter anymore, but whatever. Get bent, BCS.


The Florida Gators. In the span of roughly 10 or 11 months, they went from an underdog team who peaked for the most important 6 games of the year, to an inspirational story of 4 guys spurning millions of dollars for another shot at playing together for a championship, to the most cocky bunch of douchebags since Tupac's all-city tournament team in 'Above the Rim.'


The New York Knicks. "Why don't you just let me be? It's because of you, Isiah, that I'm like this! I'm nothin'...I'm nowhere...Get the fuck off me! I can't stand being like this no more, Isiah. I wish I knew how to quit you." Yep, I just quoted Brokeback Mountain. Don't worry, Anne Hathaway gets naked in that movie, so it's pretty sweet.




The Ugly:



The All-Ugly Team usually doesn't get unveiled until March, but I think it's safe to say that after losing Joakim Noah to the NBA, the captaincy is in good hands with Lorenzo Mata-Real.



The What? Really?

All I've been hearing about lately is how the Patriots are one of the most hated teams in sports history. I talk to a lot of people from all over the country, and I do not know of a single person who even mildly dislikes the Patriots. Does anyone out there hate them? I know plenty of people hate the Cowboys, the Yankees (also the Red Sox now), the Spurs, but not really the Pats. I'm sure there are lots of Colts fans, Jets fans, etc. who hate them, but I'd say most neutral third parties enjoy or at least respect what they're doing. I'm a Tennessee fan, and I think New England is amazing, and fun to watch. Tell me you'd rather see a guy like Terrell Owens hoist the Lombardi trophy instead of Randy Moss. Shawne Merriman instead of Tedy Bruschi?

This kind of ties in with my next beef. Lately it's been pretty cool to trash Boston fans (Red Sox in particular.) Yeah, we're annoying. I will admit that. Speaking for myself, I'm whiny, pessimistic, always waiting for the other shoe to drop. However, I think the whole issue stems from jealousy. People get pissy when they see another fan group enjoy success, and that fan group gets magnified and picked apart, it snowballs, and all of a sudden the whole country is tearing that fan group apart.

My point is: what diehard fan of a team isn't annoying, especially when their team is successful? If you wanna stereotype, you could make a case for almost anyone: Cowboys fans are annoying because they call themselves "America's Team." Braves fans are annoying because of the Tomahawk Chop. Twins fans are annoying because many lack common sense. Fans of underdog miracle teams (see: 2007 Colorado Rockies) are annoying because they are giant bandwagon jumpers. Arizona and SoCal fans are annoying because they don't cheer unless the scoreboard or Rally Monkey tells them to. Raiders fans are annoying because they dress up like fucking insane asylum escapees. Duke fans are annoying because they have a 'cheer sheet' that they have to study to heckle opposing players. Yankee fans are annoying because they don't have a soul. Just kidding, but you could go on and on forever. So yeah, Boston fans are annoying. So are you, you pussies.

I love finishing on a negative note. Gets me fired up for my day. Let's go shoot some wild animals or something.