With trade talks involving Manny Ramirez heating up like never before, I feel like I should tell Theo Epstein that all I want for Christmas is Manny in a Red Sox uniform next year.
Trading Manny is the unthinkable. The knockout punch. The nail in the coffin. The straw that broke the camel's back. Fill in whatever sports cliche you like, that's what it would be. Since the magical ride of 2004, I have swallowed the loss of Pedro, Kevin Millar, Roberts, Arroyo, Cabrera, Mueller, D-Lowe, etc. Even Judas Damon, which I thought I would never get over. Losing Manny, though, would leave me inconsolable. Manny, despite his moodiness, has never been a clubhouse cancer. The only player that Manny affected was Manny. Part of the reason Millar was so valuable was his ability to keep Manny focused, in a good mood. Millar would see Manny go 0 for 4, make an error in the field, maybe snap at the press, and know it was time to step in and do his thing. And bam, Manny would hit a couple homers the next night, flashing his trademark point all over the field, and there you go. He has asked out of Boston numerous times the last few years, only to be talked off the ledge by Millar. When the Sox dangled Manny on the waiver wire during 2003, then tried to trade him for A-Rod after the season, it was Millar who calmed him down, went to the press and backed Manny, and 9 months later, he was World Series MVP. That's why the loss of Millar, as I said at the time, opened the door for much larger consequences down the road.
Part of the reason I love the Sox so much is that they are idiots. They are exactly what we would be like if we found ourselves playing pro baseball for millions for dollars. The 2003 and 2004 teams were laid-back, joking around, growing stupid facial hair, driving around remote-control cars and shooting bow and arrow on the field before games. It takes a certain kind of team to come back from 0-3 down in a best of seven series, a fact that is proven by the fact that only three teams have ever done it in the history of sports. That same looseness, who-gives-a-shit, win-or-lose-we-still-booze mentality is what enabled them to win that series, and the World Series after that. And Manny was, still is, the embodiment of that team.
And the by-the-numbers, chart out the graphs, what are their statistics worth to us strategy that Theo and his assistants used to add such key pieces like Schilling, Cabrera, Varitek, and others are what have torn this team down. Good character guy after good character guy have walked out the door since the 2004 season, because their stats weren't worth their dollar. It was hard to take, but because at the same time they were adding solid players like Josh Beckett, Mark Loretta, Mike Lowell, Alex Gonzalez, etc. it was easier to accept.
But I can't accept this strategy anymore. Two years have produced zero playoff wins, and the team has become less and less fun to watch. Now the Sox, who won't spend the money on their own free agents, will pay $51 million just for the rights to negotiate with a Japanese guy? We are turning into the Yankees, right before my very eyes. A team that has no fun, and has no rings to show for it. I don't want to cheer for the Yankees. I want to cheer for the Red Sox. For the idiots. For Manny. So Santa, if you exist, tell Theo Epstein that he holds my Christmas in his hands.
