This game took place my freshman year of college, where tuesdays and thursdays consisted of comp class, lunch served by the pizza nazi at the terrace dining center, an episode of Beverly Hills 90210, at least 4 games of NCAA football against Lane in the afternoon, and then drinking the rest of the night. Somehow I had a girlfriend at this magical time in my life.
Lane and I had some epic battles, but I'll be honest; he fucking owned me. My lifetime record against him in this game was approximately 0-107. But I usually kept it close, and like an 11 year old kid losing to his 6'5'' dad in one-on-one in the driveway, I always came back for more. We were always random stupid teams, and on this day I happened to be the Kansas Jayhawks, and Lane was Michigan St. Running his triple option up and down the field (literally), Lane builds a 56-20 lead after three quarters. I go into my patented shotgun five wideouts-no huddle-onside kicks after every touchdown offense, or as Lane and I liked to call it, the Chuck and Duck Offense.
Miraculously I cut it to 56-49, as Lane continues to talk trash and pretends not to be worried, and I am white-knuckling the controller with every completed hail mary pass, two point conversion, and onside kick. As time expires, I throw a 50 yard TD pass to cut it to 56-55. As Lane threatens to throw the TV out of Walsh 202A, I make the decision that I am going for the win right now. There is no way I could've survived an OT, I had to do it right then, with Lane more rattled than Peyton Manning in a playoff game. On my two point conversion play, I run a curl route, and my receiver dives back towards the line of scrimmage to make the catch. Dives back across the goal line, that is. He is ruled down at the one-foot line, Lane's undefeated streak survives, and we have to move Paul's Animal House poster to cover the huge hole that I kick in our dorm room wall.
Don't worry, our R.A. lied for us so we didn't have to pay for it.
