Is everyone ready for #1? This game took place in probably 1993, in the spit-stained basement of the Dunphy household. The game is Super Batter Up, based on either the '91 or '92 MLB stats, when the Toronto Blue Jays were by far the best rated team. One of the funny things about this game was that although every member of the Dunphy family is a diehard Braves fan, they all had absolutely no problem playing as the team that beat them in the World Series the year before. Whatever. I was only 11, I wasn't going to call them on it. I am playing Andy, and I choose the Pirates because Bonds was pretty ridiculous in this game, even pre-steroids.
The first few innings go about how most Super Batter Up games against the older Dunphy brothers go. Lots of infield singles by Devon White and Roberto Alomar (who were both faster than anybody else on Super Nintendo, except maybe Mario with a star and the turbo held down), and lots of doubles by Joe Carter, Dave Winfield, and especially Kelly Gruber, who probably hit .800 against me in his SBU career. There is also a steady stream of shit-talking and spit coming from Andy's chair. However, I am surprisingly scrappy today, and after a grand slam by Gary Redus in the 8th (which earned a loogie on the carpet right at my feet) I had tied the game at 8.
Pissed off and motivated now, Andy storms back in the top of the 9th, and after a three run job by Gruber, he sits back, apparently satisfied, and the shit-talking resumes in full force. It continues into the bottom of the ninth, when his "closer" Jack Morris (actually one of the best starters in the league that year) strikes out the first two batters in my half of the ninth. Jay Bell, at the top of the order, ekes out a bloop single, and then the fireworks begin. Andy Van Slyke is up next, and after laying off three of the up+B pitches that bounce before they reach the plate, Andy has to come with a fastball, which I take out. Only down 11-10 now, and I have Andy's attention again. Jeff King is up next, and he turns a Morris fastball around for another homer. Tie ballgame. Andy is going nuts now, spitting everywhere. I am too scared/excited to say anything. I had the equally silent support of the crowd, which consisted of Dunph and Bergman. Bonds is up next, and Dunph suggests walking him intentionally. Andy tells him to shut the fuck up, then gives up an absolute bomb that leaves Blue Moon Stadium. As Bonds circles the bases for my first career win against one of the older Dunphys, I can't help myself. "Probably should've walked him" I let slip out, and I can barely finish the sentence before a super nintendo controller is bouncing off my forehead. This classy little move apparently made Andy feel better, as it became a staple of the Dunphy Basement Video Game Battles from then on.
I hope everyone enjoyed the top 6, and I look forward to hearing about everyone else's.
