As a sports fan, things were not a lot of fun for me in 2003. (Although everything else in 2003 was the shiiiiiiit. We had more rooftop Culligan parties than Picasso had paint.) I was heavily scarred by all my teams coming close but never winning it all. I'll admit that at least being in contention is preferable to cheering for teams who don't ever really come close at all-- you know, "Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" or whatever. But still, all the near-misses were driving me literally insane.
First off, we have KU basketball. After years of excruciating March Madness losses as a 1 seed, things were topped off by this game.
Then we have the Red Sox. After years and years of decent but not great teams, and a couple of playoff disappointments, not to mention the Yankees getting championships like Rambo got bullets, things were topped off by this game.
The Oilers/Titans, among other disappointments, were busy coming up one yard short in the Super Bowl.
The Knicks spent the 90's alternating between thrilling playoff wins and devastating losses, but I won't dwell too much on those. While they were crushing at the time, I can't look at myself in the mirror and call myself a true fan anymore. (And I won't even mention the Philadelphia Flyers, since it's been a solid 12 years since I watched one of their games in its entirety. The Eric Lindros era was pretty tough, though.)
Meanwhile, Phil Mickelson was practically inventing new ways to finish second place in a major.
Add everything up, and I couldn't have been in much worse shape as a sports fan in November of 2003.
But I have to admit, everything's been coming up Milhouse since then. The Red Sox won a couple of World Series-- the first one in the coolest way possible, coming back from 0-3 down to beat the Yankees, in New York, in seven games. KU won a championship in the coolest way possible, overcoming the Roy Williams demons in a dominating Final Four win, then making an insane comeback, hitting a buzzer beater, and beating a John Calipari-coached Memphis team in OT. The obscenely brutal March Madness losses certainly haven't stopped, though. It's a good thing KU got that title in '08, or I may have burned down a few buildings or strangled a bunch of prostitutes or something by now.
And now, after winning the British Open yesterday, Phil has majors like Carl Sagan has turtlenecks. (Sorry, I'm super tired today since the Sox game went 11 innings last night and I was too wired to sleep after the walk-off homer, so instead of coming up with my own metaphors, I've been stealing them from Beastie Boys songs.)
I've gone from being snake-bitten to being ridiculously spoiled. And because of all the heart-breaking losses, nobody appreciates the wins more than me. As Jason Lee so eloquently put it in Vanilla Sky, the sweet is never as sweet without the sour. Being a sports fan is much more fun now.
I'm off to finish my lunch break. Yo, I got more pizza rolls than JD's got Salinger.
