One of the random bonuses of cohabitation, that you don't really think about before the fact: getting to combine DVD collections. Something I've noticed since moving to Kansas: I don't know if it's the weather, or just a general increase in things to do and ways to spend disposable income, or the weather (IT'S PROBABLY THE WEATHER, YO) but people in Kansas don't own near as many DVDs as people in North Dakota. Amongst my childhood friend group, I probably only have about an average-size collection (that sentence could've went another direction). But down here, the number of DVDs I own has been a source of ridicule-- upon walking into my basement for the first time and seeing my DVD rack, my buddy Franklin exclaimed "What the fuck dude, are you opening up a video store or something since Blockbuster closed down?"
Anyway, here's my breakdown of Teens' movies that have now become mine as well. (Although my DVDs are still my own. One of my favorite Bergman-isms, that I have used somewhere around 50 times since Teens moved in a few months ago: "What's yours is mine and what's mine is MINE!")
MOVIES THAT I'M LEGITIMATELY EXCITED TO ADD TO THE COLLECTION
Office Space- One of those movies that Paul owned, and we lived together for so long, it kinda felt like mine too. By the time he moved out, I had seen it 100 times anyway, so I just never got around to buying my own copy. And now it's back in the mix! Although it would be a happier story if I was moving in with Paul again, instead of Teens. Maybe someday. (Side story: when we were kids, Paul was the first person any of us knew who owned a DVD player, and he was proud of it. For months afterward, every time he called me to hang out, it would go something like "Hey, whaddya doing tonight? Wanna do something? Maybe, I don't know, go get some food, or golf, or.....maybe rent a few DVDs and crash at my place?" I mean, the exact same line, verbatim, EVERY single time. To this day, it still cracks Brother and I up.)
Old School- See Office Space.
My Girl- Such a good movie. Whenever my generation talks about our favorite movies from the early 90's that we loved as little kids, it's always The Sandlot, or The Mighty Ducks, or Jurassic Park, or Basic Instinct, and My Girl always gets unfairly overlooked. Dammit Macaulay Culkin, why did you have to fuck with that beehive?
Gia- Just a brutal movie, but Angelina Jolie spends a TON of time naked. No clothes. Just a complete and total lack of clothes.
Cruel Intentions- Man I loved this movie when I was in high school, when we thought that Sarah Michelle Gellar was the hottest girl in the world. I haven't watched it since then, and I'm excited to see how it holds up when I get around to watching it next. (My guess: Not well. But, you know, SMG in her prime and everything. There's still some optimism over here.)
10 Things I Hate About You- I have probably watched this movie 30 or 40 times on TV, but have never actually owned it. Fast forward to this scenario, which will happen at our house sometime in the next year: Teens comes home some night earlier than expected, and I'm sitting on the couch with this movie freeze-framed on a shot of Alex Mack wearing that red dress with the push-up bra, and I've kidnapped the neighbor's dog and totally lubed myself up with peanut better. Could be fun.
MOVIES THAT I ALREADY OWN, SO NOW WE'RE GONNA TRADE ONE OF THE COPIES IN TO THE USED VIDEO GAME STORE SO I CAN BUY MORE SEGA GENESIS AND/OR SUPER NINTENDO GAMES-- I'VE TOTALLY HAD MY EYE ON SUPER MARIO ALL-STARS FOR AWHILE NOW
Karate Kid- One of those movies that made me think I had a keeper on my hands when I saw it on her DVD shelf.
The Departed- Ditto.
Saturday Night Live- Best of Will Ferrell- Ditto x 2.
The Dark Knight- If Teens hadn't have owned this DVD, it might have been points against her. Everyone should own this DVD.
Garden State- You guys heard me when I said Angelina gets naked a lot in Gia, right?
Butterfly Effect- And I thought I was the only one.
Dodgeball- Ditto.
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
(Note: I was originally going to include S.W.A.T. on this list. When I first saw that Teens owned this movie, I made some sort of "Congratulations, you and LL Cool J's mom are the only two people on the planet who own this movie" joke. But then I remembered that Paul also bought this movie (and switched his career path to police officer shortly after) and then Teens and I sat down a little while ago and watched it....and it was actually pretty entertaining. Also, out of all the angry bisexuals who could kick my ass in this world- of which there are many- Michelle Rodriguez is definitely the hottest.)
On to the actual movies on this list:
2 Fast 2 Furious- Not an absolutely horrible movie in its own right....but I think it's weird that Teens owns this one and not the first one-- and, even weirder, she hadn't even SEEN the first one until a few months ago when we DVR'd it and I made her watch it, in all its Vin Diesel-like glory. Have you ever heard of anybody who bought the second DVD in a series without even having seen the first one? Now you do.
Goo Goo Dolls Live In Alaska- I can't believe that this particular group of words exists in this particular structure in order to make this particular DVD title. I really can't. With all the craziness and chaos in this world we live in.....this DVD actually exists.
First Wives Club- If Teens is even watching, much less owning, movies like this one....remind me to never divorce her. Paging Dr. Ikes, please. Dr. Yee Ikes, you have a phone call at the front desk.
Save the Last Dance- Of course she owns this movie. Of fucking course she does.
Steel Magnolias/My Best Friends Wedding- DOUBLE FEATURE Y'ALL!!!...of Julia Roberts bullshit. I don't care if this double disc only cost like $4 in the random-ass DVD bin that they throw in the middle of one of the aisles in the clothing or food section at Wal-Mart....you got ripped off.
Center Stage- To be honest with you, I have no idea what this movie is, or anything about it. But this is the DVD cover, so that's enough for me. Life doesn't hold tryouts, bro.
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In general, it's been pretty awful since spammers took over the comments from all the posts and made me remove the commenting ability from the blog. I loved your comments, and the arguments that would sometimes break out in the comments section. (And for those who have asked: Yes, I tried enabling comments again recently, and within two hours received about 15 spam emails. Comments back off). But the one positive: now Teens can't comment and defend herself on owning some of these DVDs. What can I say, sometimes bad things happen to good people.
