So the other day Lane and I were sitting at his place watching football and the President's Cup on tape delay. I glanced out the window, and from about three houses away, I saw a girl walking down the sidewalk, holding a piece of paper with a familiar-looking color combination. Instantly, I popped out of my chair and started flailing around, yelling "Is that girl holding a girl scout cookie form? Is she selling cookies? Is that a girl scout? That's gotta be the cookie form, right?"
I threw on my shoes (I'm not like Dane Cook-- I don't say "fuck shoes" in this situation) and ran out yelling at her to come this way, forgetting that my wallet was in my car, and the keys to my car were back inside on the table, so I had to run back in the house, and then I slammed the door on my hand and had to jump around to shake the pain off, and I riled up Padme (the dog) so she started barking and woke up Finn (the toddler).....and all I would've had to do was wait for the girl to make her way down the block and I would've got cookies either way. I really don't know what happened or why I freaked out so much; I think I blacked out for a couple minutes. All Lane could do was shake his head at me and say "You've got problems, man." I wouldn't say that being able to recognize the girl scout cookie form from 125 yards away is a problem, really....I look at it as something I should start putting on my resume. Different strokes for different folks, I guess.
What can I say, I hadn't bought any girl scout cookies yet this year and I was fiending pretty hard. I'm like the dude in Requiem for a Dream, I would absolutely pawn off my mom's TV and then buy it back every few days, if it meant I could get my Caramel Delites fix. Also, kudos to the rule change that now the girl scouts carry the cookies with them, instead of having to wait an interminable amount of time until they arrive. I'm a weak man when it comes to food.
And on that note, my goal for tomorrow is to eat at least 5 pounds of turkey meat. My single-day record for Thanksgiving weight gain is 7 pounds, set back in 2001, so I think this is an attainable goal-- depending on how many nervous beers I have tonight during the KU/Duke game. Generally I don't like to be hungover on Thanksgiving since I want my stomach to be in prime condition, but we haven't played Duke in eight years, so exceptions might be made.
Happy Thanksgiving and ROCK CHALK JAYHAWK.
