Milk Was A Bad Choice

Off the top of my head, I'd have to say that the U.S. Women's soccer team holds my new personal record for the greatest gap between how much time I invested in something and how much I actually cared about it (not the greatest way to explain it, but bear with me.) Like, I only watched 2.5 games, and read a few articles online, and yet during the final the other day, I found myself jumping and yelling from the couch, and was legitimately depressed after they lost on penalty kicks. Contrast that to, say, The Sopranos, to which I dedicated about 75 hours of my life to, but then couldn't even be bothered to go rent the last season because I didn't care enough. I don't know why I was extra sad when the women's team lost, maybe because they're women? This was a superb article detailing that train of thought.

I know one thing that initially sucked me in was Hope Solo. What a smoke show. Between her looks, athletic ability, and awesome last name, there is no doubt in my mind that I would marry her (and take her last name.)

And then we would name our first son Han and I could make a million 'Han Shot First' jokes and life would be perfect.


Quick list of the female athletes I've been the most smitten by in my life:

1. Anna Kournikova in 1998 (really, it's not even realistic how hot she was)
2. Dominique Moceanu in 1996 (acceptable because I was 13 at the time)
3. Shawn Johnson in 2008 (completely unacceptable because I was 25 at the time)
4. Hope Solo in 2011
5. Natalie Gulbis in 2006 (although heads up, Michelle Wie is getting SUPER hot)


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Congrats to Paul and Mandy on the birth of their first child, Leah, a few days ago. I think it's hilarious, some of the friends that have been the first of us to have kids. During freshman year of college, if I would've parlayed Lane, Paul, Russell, and Ike all having kids before the age of 29, I wouldn't be typing this right now, because I'd be living on a yacht in international waters, and the internet connection would probably be pretty spotty. Either way, I'm a mighty proud uncle right now.


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I've been feeling very 90's lately (more so than usual) thinking about things that were awesome back then. So a new feature on The Slice: Things That Used To Be Awesome. This one is circa 1994. I'm trying to bring it back by making it my text message ringtone. TOASTY!