I've seen Mean Girls a ridiculous number of times. (And I won't apologize for that, either. It's a legitimately funny movie with a ton of eye candy in it. So the sooner you accept that, the sooner we can move forward and really get into this topic. Cool?)
Around the 8th or 9th time I watched it, and I started paying attention to things other than the Lohan-McAdams-Chabert-Seyfried Murderer's Row, I started feeling a little something down in my swimsuit area for Janis (Lizzy Caplan.) She was strangely attractive, even though she was supposed to be the chunky, goth, psuedo-lesbian character (characteristics that have never really been in my typical hot girl wheelhouse.) Once I started really focusing on her, I was smitten- convinced that, similar to the bicycle-stealing lady who lived under the bridge off of the 7th hole of the old frisbee golf course in Grand Forks- there was more to her than meets the eye.
So I did a little googling and discovered that yes, Lizzy was indeed hot, and just heavily doctored up for her role in Mean Girls. I started working on my theory that she was the hottest girl in the cast (a theory that, while mostly ridiculed, picked up at least a little steam when Lindsay Lohan's Hot Bandwagon hit a moose on the interstate, rolled seven times, and exploded into a million pieces, killing dozens of bystanders in the process.)
So now, for the last couple of years, I've monitored Lizzy's career (I mean that exactly as creepy as it sounds) and occasionally will watch something she's in, just to keep re-affirming to myself that yes, she is totally hot. She was on Jimmy Kimmel a couple weeks ago, and was a totally sarcastic smart-ass the whole time, which of course melted my heart even more. Few things are hotter to me than girls being laid-back and flippant. Which is why, as amazing as Kelly Kapowski is/was, I almost like Tiffani Thiesen more as Valerie Malone in 90210.....but that's a whole 'nother post.
I dunno, I guess it's just ironic to me that, six years after I first watched that movie, the girl that I think about when I'm smearing SmashBurger sauce all over my body and trolling Craigslist for exotic animal owners in the area isn't Lindsay Lohan, or Rachel McAdams, or Lacey Chabert, or Amanda Seyfriend. Life is funny sometimes.
