Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Um, Hi.

I'm sorry that my 'presence' on the internet has been brutal lately ("Why did you put 'presence' in quotes? Are you implying that we're not here?") I could give you a list of reasons why- but rule #76, No excuses, play like a champion. If you want to see the Hottest Girl on the Planet talk about how busy she is, however, I can provide you with that.

Hey, enjoy some bullets, all of them involving me and my life in some way, because I was reminded recently that's what a blog is (I love it when friends are supportive in a passive aggressive way):

>> The move is finally all the way done (sorry, no more excuses for not posting more, I promised.) It is certainly nice to have space to move around after living in a shoebox for the last two years- although that was my goal, and it saved plenty of money for my gambling habit. My new and improved Fortress of Solitude is baller as shit; partly because the cheap furniture store here in town that I loved so much closed down, and instead of 'old, crappy, possibly piss-stained video game chair', I was forced to splurge on 'new, leather, with cupholders video game couch.' To all future visitors, we will now be playing NBA Jam and Super MarioKart in style. There has been a clamoring for pictures of the new place, so maybe someday I will throw some up.

>> Bergman and Ashley visited last weekend, our third weekend in a row of visitors (I PROMISE! No more excuses!) We, um, drank a lot. For me personally, the highlight was being locked out of our house at 2 a.m. on Friday, so the girls took a cab back downtown to get keys out of Alex's car, while us dudes ate Pizza Shuttle, sitting cross-legged in the driveway and having some dude talk. That was neat.

>> We finally received our championship shirts for Curtis J. Phillips Basketball. I already have like five of the exact same shirts (except this one says 'basketball' instead of 'softball'......our co-ed softball team is like back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back champs, dating back before I even lived in Kansas- Tom Emansky and his band of AAU teams got nothing on us) but this shirt feels different. Better, you could say. Well-deserved. The opposite of how the Yankees feel when they get their World Series rings.

>> I am literally counting down the days until I can get rid of my Doucheberry. I'm treating this two-year plan like I'm in phone prison, and I've got half my sentence left. And my only chance for parole is getting my salad tossed by el leader de los banditos (aka throwing a ton of money around for a new one without getting a new plan.) It's cool having email and internet on my phone, I guess, but a lot of things about the Berry annoy me, and this trackball can lick my balltrack.

>> Yet ANOTHER reason why college football sucks: now with all the TV money getting thrown around by the Big 10 and Pac-10, there is a very real chance that the Big 12 is folding, and KU will get stuck in the Mountain West or something shitty. Even though they are a top 5 basketball program, their football program (for the most part) sucks, which makes all the difference in this football-crazed country we call home. "Hey, we've been playing these teams in football every single year since the fucking Civil War, but who gives a shit, if we leave, we can earn an extra nine million dollars per year, that we can use to hopefully make our campus stop smelling like a goat ranch! Where do we sign!" Just one more punch in the dick to remind you that the only thing that matters in sports these days is money. Sometimes I wish it was 1989 again- and not just to hear N.W.A. in their prime.


Pictured: N.W.A. Timeframe: ummmm, slightly before their prime.



>> I will try not to go another 10 days without posting. I'm pretty sure that's my longest hiatus since I started, and this.......this felt awkward. Like a deadbeat dad showing up for high school graduation after not talking to his kid for 18 months, and hoping that the keys to his piece of shit '87 Honda Accord is going to be enough to forgive him.

(Just so we're clear, this post represents the crappy Accord. Enjoy the car, son!)