(There is one honorable mention this year: Stanley Robinson of UCONN. At the beginning of the year, when he had those dirty-ass, slightly balding, prison-style cornrows that made him look like a 37-year-old gangbanger doing three-to-five for a B&E, he was solidly on the team. Then he got a midseason respectable haircut, and as a result he just misses out. Shades of Deron Washington cutting his shitrows in 2008 and costing himself a starting spot on the squad.)
Lucas O'Rear, UNI: takes the 12th spot in Robinson's absence, only beating out Steven Pearl because Pearl looks juuuust enough like Shia Lebouf to get him off the hook. O'Rear has the scraggly mop of an irishman, and the sideburns of a 90210 character if they were just released from a three-month-long hostage situation.
Curtis Kelly, Kansas St.: as Lieutenant Dan told Bubba, "You better tuck that thing in before you get it caught on a trip wire."
J'Covan Brown, Texas: I'm excited for the potential of Brown and his pug-face over the next few years. I hope they caught the guy who gave Brown's face a hit-and-run shoveling.
Jordan Eglseder, UNI: He was a lock for the team. And THEN he shaved his head. You gotta give him props for being the greatest seven-footer in UNI's long and storied history of seven-footers, though.
Andy Rautins, Syracuse: I would pay upwards of $400 to punch him in the face, just once. He flew under the radar a little bit since he went to the 'Cuse, but don't get it twisted: if he played for Duke he'd almost be as nationally hated as JJ Redick was a few years back.
Corey Fisher, Villanova: the rare case of an All-Ugly upperclassman getting benched after previously being a starter. Hey, it happened to Greg Paulus in actual basketball, and if Coach K can do it, so can I.
Ryan Evans, Wisconsin: now THAT, my friends, is an NBA Live '95 flat-top. Patrick Ewing, Robert Horry, Derrick McKey, Detlef Schrempf, and Elden Campbell would be proud.
The starting five:
Kyle Singler, Duke. I could pretty much cut and paste my paragraph on him from last year. Personally, I think he's only bench-worthy in ugliness. But a few dozen people a week find this blog by googling Kyle Singler ugly, so I'll let him be the people's choice in the starting five.
Alex Tyus, Florida. There comes a point in every man's life where you just gotta look in the mirror and say to yourself, "You know what? I don't think I have the hairline to pull off dreds anymore." 
James 'Big Lumber' Eayrs, Wisconsin-Milwaukee. Two cool facts about Big Lumber: he used to attend the North Dakota College of Science in Wahpeton; and he jacks up a ridiculous number of three pointers, which is totally natural for a 6'7'', 340-pounder. The picture above actually subtracts a few pounds. He is normally much fatter, and between the yellow jerseys and #55, there is an obvious comparison here......
Obligatory. Teen Wolf, dude.
Deniz Kilici, West Virginia. A prime example of why I wait until the tournament to finalize the All-Ugly Team. I hadn't even heard of this guy until he checked in against Washington in the Sweet 16, and I promptly spent the next three minutes watching nobody else. The way he runs around the court giving 200% effort at all times, elbows swinging, body swelling with pride after every made basket, rebound, or assist......I haven't had so much fun watching someone on a basketball court since I used to help coach Brother's YBL team when they were in elementary school, and this kid Chisholm wouldn't say a word, unless it was in a Beavis from Beavis & Butthead voice. He was a dominant player for a 5th grader, but nobody could take him seriously because instead of saying "I'm open" like most 11-year-olds, he would make a noise that sounded like Beavis yawning, loud at the beginning and then tapering off. I'm babbling. Anyways, keep an eye on The Big Turk during the Duke game on Saturday. He's an enjoyable watch.
Bryan Davis, Texas A&M. One of my all-time favorite players in the history of the All-Ugly Team. He's a four-year member, and returning captain from the 2009 team. After he graduates this year, we will struggle next year to fill the leadership void, as well as the void of looking like a brontosaurus. I feel like Roy Williams on Senior Night right now, so I'm gonna cut this short before I get too emotional. All best in your future endeavors, Bryan.
There is one more farewell due to graduation this year, that of Duke guard Jon Scheyer. We always play the "what athlete reminds us of our friends" game, but never have we had someone so closely resemble one of our crew. The first time I saw Scheyer shoot free throws, I almost spit beer out my nose, it was so uncanny.
You may not be on the All-Ugly Team, Jon Scheyer, but I'm sure glad I don't look like you.
