Ten Years Ago Today...

......We were having a little shindig, ringing in the new Millenium. Steg, Haley, Ike and I went on a beer run shortly after midnight. Remember this was when lots of people were freaking about Y2K and how the stroke of midnight would bring about an outbreak of mass chaos, the likes of which our world hadn't seen (the movie 2012 hadn't been released yet.) So when we returned to the hotel, we told Paul, ADawg, and the other friends in our group that we knew would believe something like this** that a riot had broken out downtown, buildings were on fire and being looted, and the S.W.A.T. team was about to move in and you guys need to go check it out RIGHT NOW. Those poor bastards sprinted to their cars like kids bouncing downstairs on Christmas morning. Needless to say, they weren't very happy with us upon their return. We laughed though.


**In high school, our friend group was split into two lunchtables. At the beginning of the year, they were basically interchangeable; we all just sat down where there was room, and didn't think much of it. But as the year progressed, two definite factions formed, like when nWo took over WCW wrestling and people started choosing sides.



This picture almost makes me want to start watching wrestling again. Almost.


There was 'The Nice Table' and 'The Other Table.' The Nice Table consisted of DVJS, Fundy, ADawg, Brooks, Russell, and a few others (Bergman was the only one who would truly switch-hit between the tables.) At this table you could take place in a nice conversation, without fear of being made fun of for the slightest slip of the tongue (eventually Paul, who stuck it out for a long time at The Other Table, finally snapped and went to The Nice Table for the rest the year. It was inevitable, he's always been a nice guy at heart.)

The Other Table featured Haley, Lane, Ike, Jake, Steg and I, among others. Our table, while still good friends, was quite a bit less cordial than the other one. Haley was the kid who invented "I'd rather throw this food on the floor than give it to you." Lane and his patented 'Johnny Tremain Hand' (where he would grab your hand and mercilessly squeeze until it was mangled and useless, just like Johnny Tremain in the story) was a bully straight out of a 1980's John Hughes movie. Talking to Ike & Jake (especially if you're a new girlfriend, trying like hell to fit into your new boyfriend's friend group) is like being Scott Evil, trying to talk during one of Dr. Evil's routines. It was just non-stop ball-busting. Just ruthless.

OK, that asterik was like twice as long as the original post, let's get serious. Long story short- most of my friends are dicks, and Happy New Year. Can't believe this decade is already over.