Friday, July 17, 2009

Pretending People Care What I Think About Stuff

Stuff I've been reading/watching lately:


Delocated. I had watched one small clip of one episode a few months ago, and kind of forgot about it (somehow I managed to watch the only stretch of 3 minutes of this show that ISN'T funny.) Kos recommended it to me a few days ago, and after watching one clip, I proceeded to watch every episode on youtube until 2 in the morning. Absolutely hilarious. Kos is ready to put it above It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, which is a bold, bold statement. I'm not gonna go that far, but I was laughing HARD on multiple occasions.

Weeds, season 4. Very disappointing, in the sense that they raised the bar so high in the first three seasons, that's there's pretty much nowhere to go but down. Plus, this show is at the point where there's no good guys left, no redeemable characters to root for. Basically every character has turned into a greedy caricature of themself that deserves everything bad that happens to them. On the plus side, Carol Vessey from Ed made a few guest appearances, and is just as hot now as she was in Happy Gilmore over a decade ago. Probably even hotter cause she had some messed up hair in that movie. However, on a show where every cast member has dropped trou at least once, she didn't get naked at all. C'mon, I've had to look at Kevin Nealon's ass on multiple occasions, throw me a frickin' bone here. (Literally. Ba-zing!)


You and me both, Happy. You and me both.


Juno. I know, I'm only a couple years late on this one. It was decent, I guess; kinda clever, but I never laughed harder than a chuckle; kinda touching, but I never found myself totally invested in anybody. In the words of Denny Green, "It was what I thought it was! Ok? If you wanna crown its ass, then crown it, but it was what I thought it was!"

Less Than Zero. The book that put Bret Easton Ellis on the map. Pretty good, but depressing as all hell. You can file it under "Forms of media that should be implemented into schools to discourage children from doing drugs" along with the movie Requiem for a Dream, and the Rick James interview from the deleted scenes of Chappelle Show.

The Long Walk and Running Man. I'd been meaning to read these for a long time now, and I finally got around to it. When Stephen King writes a clunker, it's REALLY bad, but when it's good, it's REALLY good, and these books fall under the latter for me. I'm gonna leave it at that, because I'm kidding myself if I think that anyone cares about book recommendations. I'd venture that 80% of my friends haven't opened a book since college. Maybe 85%.

Taken. Phenomenal movie. 10 years ago Liam Neeson was in Star Wars, so I guess he'll always get free pancakes at my house- but beyond that, he was The Man in this movie. He was really rockin' the shit. I won't say anything to spoil it, but there are a few unpredictable scenes that really separate it from the typical movie of this genre.

Notorious. I only rented this because the movie I wanted was gone, and there was a line developing at the RedBox and I was panicking. The sentence that best sums up my feelings is: I'm glad that I only paid $1.08 for it. Two things bother me about this movie:

1) In real life, Biggie's mom has a huuuuge Jamaican accent. At the beginning of the movie, 'golden globe-winning actress' Angela Bassett talks completely normal, no accent to be found. I was bitching to Alex about it, because Mama Notorious possesses one of my all-time favorite voices. Then, 75% of the way through the movie, whammo! All of a sudden Bassett is dusting off her best Miss Cleo impression. No idea why it wasn't there from the start. Maybe they caught it in editing.

2) This was unsurprising, considering it's a movie celebrating Notorious BIG, produced by his friends and family, yada yada yada...but still, I hated the way they pinned all the blame for the west coast/east coast rap war on Tupac. They made him look like an unhinged malcontent, and made Biggie look like a saint, when the facts don't support that at all. What a load of shit. Suck my nuts, Puff Daddy.**


**Written by an west coast rap-loving, sometimes irrational conspiracy theorist who believes Tupac is still alive. So do what you will with this paragraph.


Happy Friday. Remember kids, don't drink and drive, and click it or law enforcement will ticket.