Out of all the traits I COULD'VE picked up from my father (the strength to bench press more than 135 pounds; a working knowledge of power tools and automobiles; the can-do attitude required to accomplish difficult tasks without quitting halfway through; the mental toughness to get on a motorcycle without plugging your ears and closing your eyes and repeating the alphabet backwards over and over until the ride is done) it seems like the one I'm getting stuck with is the complete inability to sleep at night.
Similar to what started happening to my dad at this age, on most nights I have about a 15-minute window to fall asleep in- after that I'm screwed. (And Alex, always the helper, loves to fill this window with comments like "When we get a house, I'd rather have a fake fireplace than a real fireplace, so it doesn't get all smoky" or pressing issues such as "On Chelsea Lately tonight, they said Dakota Fanning was out on a mystery date with another actor- I bet it was the kid who plays Ron Weasley from Harry Potter!") In addition, once I do fall asleep, it's nearly impossible to sleep uninterrupted for longer than 2 or 3 hours. Growing up, I saw how my pops would sit up all night reading/eating/watching crappy movies on TV because he couldn't sleep, and I've never envied him for that. Mine eyes have seen the glory of my future, and it doesn't look promising.
The last couple of nights have been particularly bad. Sunday night was my fault; after drinking pretty aggressively all morning at our softball tournament, I took a 4-hour coma in the late afternoon/early evening, so obviously when I went to bed that night I was gonna be staring at the ceiling for hours....but last night, I got into bed around midnight, exhausted, but I still couldn't sleep well. I remember looking at the clock at 1:15, 3:23, 4:42, 5:21, 5:54, 6:19, and 6:37 before my alarm started going off. Awesome.
So now I'm a zombie all day and crabby all night. Thanks, Dad. Next time just give me the gene that enables me to see a dead raccoon on the side of the road without breaking into tears and calling Mom at work to ask her if she thinks there's a Heaven especially made for animals.
