The first night I felt like being kind of a douche, and everyone knows we love to try and bait Royals fans into talking shit, so I decided to wear my "Manny Being Manny" shirt. If the Royals fan was cool, like the 75-year-old guy who made fun of me in the parking lot, then I would be self-deprecating and laugh about how I'm living in denial. If the Royals fan was a dipshit (like the guy who comes into the stands and does promotions) then I would act like I hadn't heard about the Manny trade, and act shocked and surprised until the guy finally realized I was being sarcastic and left me alone.
So speaking of the Royals Promotion Guy, Alex, Ashley, and I were on the Jumbotron for an extended period of time. The guy directly in front of us was selected to do a trivia question, which was: Who is Billy Butler's (Royals 1st baseman) favorite American Idol?
A. David Cook
B. Ruben Studdard
C. Carrie Underwood
So do you think Butler, a twenty-something red-blooded American male, likes Carrie Underwood? Nope. Well, does he at least like Cook, who is from Kansas City? Nope. He likes Ruben Studdard. So the guy guesses Underwood (smartly), gets it wrong, and the crowd, including us, goes ballistic booing the fact that Butler actually likes Studdard, unquestionably the worst choice of the three. I'm up on the Jumbotron in the background expressing my displeasure, and the promotion guy yells at me "Sit down, Manny!"
Wait a second, what? He told us right before the thing started that we should be animated and rowdy on screen! Now, no? Now he just wants to look cool and make a Manny joke in front of a bunch of people? Those promotion guys are like that. Without fail. So I whirl around and turn my displeasure on him. "Fuck off dude, Ruben Studdard? Are you kidding me?!? That shit was rigged!" while dismissively pointing at him. Most the people in our section were Sox fans, and they thought this was awesome, and a guy sitting near me took a picture of the Jumbotron during this exchange, and he later showed me a picture of myself berating the promotion retard on the Jumbotron. One of my proudest moments. I should've had the guy email me the pic or something. Live and learn, I guess. End of the story is that the guy doing the trivia got like 20 free cookies for losing, and he gave some to us and they tasted awesome.
At some point during the game (I have no idea how this topic came up) it came out that Alex thought Eurasia was one of the 7 continents. I honestly thought she was joking for a few minutes since she was so serious about it. I told her that it was a continent around 250 million years ago; she didn't care. Ashley politely told her she was mistaken; she didn't care. The three guys from Boston sitting behind us told her, less politely, that she was mistaken; she didn't care. The 10 year old sitting next to me told her she was wrong, listed the 7 actual continents in about 3 seconds, and then started laughing at Alex (this kid immediately became my main man) and she STILL didn't care. By now there are a lot of people involved in this discussion, and it wasn't until the same guy who took my picture on the Jumbotron used his phone and googled Eurasia and read the definition to her that she finally accepted it (sorta.) I have never been so embarrassed to be dating someone....I suppose now I know how Alex feels when I, oh...I don't know, get into a verbal dispute with a Royals employee in front of 25,000 people on the biggest scoreboard in major league baseball. Anyway, here's my main man and me, check out the look on his face, what a stud:
"Dude, Eurasia? Is she serious? Even my girlfriend that still occasionally eats glue knows the 7 continents! What do you SEE in this chick?"
"I know, man....I know. She cooks me some pretty good mac 'n' cheese, though. You'll understand one day."
From a baseball standpoint the game was good, Beckett pitched well, the bats came alive, and the Sox cruised to a fairly easy win. Ashley decided she was going to match me beer for beer, which resulted in me being slightly buzzed....and her being "Michael Cera at the end of Superbad" drunk. Ahh...I remember when I had my first beer, too. So her and Alex (who wasn't exactly sober either) are making me take a picture every 3 minutes or so, until I finally snapped, and then they bothered the dudes behind us to take pictures of/with them.
My inner monologue: "Dammit, you two! We're in the middle of a rally right now! This is the last fucking picture I'm taking!" Oh, wait. That was my outer monologue. My inner monologue was probably worse, and had more profanity.
So that game was fun, and we went again last night, this time in much better seats, and the Sox won again, so they're now 4-2 when I see them in person. No real funny stories though, except maybe one. In the ninth inning, with the Sox up 8-2, Papelbon gives up a meaningless base hit. Some dude behind us yells, "Ahhhh yeeeeaaaahhhhh!!!! Papelbon, you fucking suck!" This is while his team is down six runs with one out in the bottom of the ninth. God bless Royals fans.
