...and 5 paragraphs of furious Friday randomness:
Unusually stressful week at work, mostly due to me flushing my health right down the toilet last weekend amidst a swirl of mint juleps and leftover pizza. But I've found a stress reliever. I've discovered that the birds outside our building are the same as the ones in Augusta, Georgia (I'd recognize that chirping in my sleep.) I also have a portrait of the 12th hole at Amen Corner hanging in my office. So I just open my window, let the breeze hit me, listen to the birds, stare really really hard at my portrait like it's a Magic Eye or a Where's Waldo, envision Jim Nantz smiling and greeting me with "Hello, friends. Welcome to a tradition unlike any other..." and ba-zing, I'm at the Masters again. Stress level: declining.
I recently finished all 3 seasons of Arrested Development. I know that Cheese has already gone into great detail about how awesome that show is, so I won't belabor the point and beat Eight Belles (get it? Beating a dead horse? GET IT?!?!?) I'll just say that I agree that it is one of the funniest shows in history, probably top 3. If you haven't watched it yet, do it. That goes double for you, Jon-Jon. Just go buy all the seasons at once, trust me. Now normally when Alex and I are watching TV or a movie, I ALWAYS let her know who I think is hot, to the point of being borderline obnoxious, but she never says anything about dudes. However, she has a huge, huuuge crush on Will Arnett. I don't know if I should be pumped that finally she is verbalizing who she likes, or worried that she doesn't say anything about anyone, then goes f-in crazy over one dude.
I got ejected from a city league basketball game for the first time since moving down here. I won't go into details about what was said, since this is a family-friendly blog hahaha, but after putting up with some of these shenanigans the last few months, I'll just say that it was worth it. It was long overdue.
I might be the worst human-on-human Madden player in the world. I am a champ against the computer on the All-Madden level, I'll take anyone and go 12-4 with a first-round bye, unless I change the settings to favor the computer, so I actually struggle a little bit, which is more fun. That being said, I play another human in Madden, and I get rocked every time, especially by Lane, who is basically my daddy when it comes to video games. Pisses me off every time, and yet I keep coming back for more.
I read Bigsby's post the other day about athletes having kids out of wedlock, and it got me thinking: These dudes act remorseful and talk about responsibility to the media, but I bet they really have competitions and shit around the league. Like Travis Henry walks into Denver's training camp, and his teammates have all heard the news, but they're waiting for him to bring it up, so they're kinda doing their own thing, gettin' ready for practice, pretending not to notice him, and then Henry gets in the middle of the room, puts his arms around his chest in that gangsta-self-bear-hug, and yells, "AAAhhhhhh shiiiiiiit, I got's another one last month!!!!! Holler at your boy! Come over here and holler at your fuckin' boy!!!!!" and then everyone busts out laughing and gives him high fives and shit. I also can envision a big convention around the Pro Bowl, like a Playa's Ball or something, where they hand out awards to each other for "fattest baby mama" or "most consecutive years conceiving a child while scoring at least 10 touchdowns" and stuff like that.
Happy Friday. Simple and fresh, we like yes, y'all, yes.
