I live off of Totino's frozen pizzas. They are the greatest. The triple pepperoni is my favorite kind, my homeboy, my pizza that I run the inbounds play for when there's 2.3 on the clock and I'm down by 2. It has been recalled since October because of some ecoli issue or some shit like that. The regular pepperoni is still being sold; apparently only the pepperoni in the triple pepperoni is contaminated, but that's a whole other complaint. Anyways, every time I go grocery shopping and I approach the frozen foods aisle, I get excited and a little nervous, and dive into the frozen pizza freezer, shoving boxes around, looking to see if triple pepperoni is back yet. It isn't, and I feel like someone punched me in the stomach. I am legitimately crushed.
What I've learned: 99 cent frozen pizzas hold wayyyyy too much importance in my life. For reals.
I just finished my season in Tecmo Super Bowl. As promised, I Cory Solem-ed that thing to the very end. Final stats for Ricky Watters: 11,807 yards, 116 tds. That works out to per-game averages of 738 yards and 7.25 tds.
What I've learned: Time for a new hobby.
I throw around the term douchebag pretty generously. Lots of people I consider to be douchebags; lots of things people do, I consider to be douchebaggery. Then I came across this picture of myself, taken a couple years ago (damn you facebook):
What I've learned: Ohhhh boy. I, too, am a douchebag.
The basketball referees for city league down here are absolutely brutal. Beyond description. I literally cannot find the words to describe how bad they are. Fortunately for me, the same crappiness they exhibit while calling routine basketball violations is the same crappiness they exhibit in handing out T's, so I have yet to receive my first tech since moving down here, whereas in Grand Forks, I most likely would've been ejected from a game or two for saying some of the things I've been saying to these refs.
Additionally, the drivers down here are the worst drivers I've ever seen in my life. The higher speed limits are irrelevant because NO ONE DRIVES THEM. You'll be lucky to hit 40 on a 45 mph street. Successfully navigating a 4-way stop with these idiots is a bigger adventure than the Lord of the Rings trilogy.
What I've learned: Some things that I thought were terrible in North Dakota really weren't so bad.
I don't know about you guyskis, but I've been kept awake some nights, wondering to myself: what would Weisser look like if he was an African American track and field athlete? Then I saw this picture the other day. Shazaam! Black Weisser.
What I've learned: What Weisser would look like if he was black.
Even though you didn't mean to...thank you, Tinks.
One bonus point to anyone who knows what song this title is from. Don't google it either, you gaybots.
