(Shotgun) Bullets Are Bad For Your Health

• I'm OK with Clemens going to the Yanks. Surprisingly comfortable with it. Probably because a) I guess I never really felt like there was much of a chance he was coming to Boston, b) I don't think he'll be that good. He'll be an upgrade for New York, without a doubt, but he's been pitching in the crappy NL for the last three years. I could have an ERA under 5.00 in the NL, and c) I have a hard time forgiving players or coaches who have broke my heart. Exhibits 1 and 1A are Johnny Damon and Roy Williams. I don't know if I could seriously cheer for Clemens again. So whatever, I guess. The Yanks can have him. However, when they make their late July/early August run where they win 16 of 17 or something like that, ask me again how I feel.


• I'm really pumped about my boy Jacque Vaughn getting legitimate minutes with the Spurs. Fourth quarter minutes and everything. I still really, really, really want a Phoenix/Golden State west finals, but if the Spurs do win, it softens the blow.


• Congrats Golden State for finishing off Dallas in spectacular fashion. I hadn't been that excited for a game since the Knicks last made the playoffs, which feels like 1986. They have also added Alex to their bandwagon (Baron Davis, in particular) and this continues it would be fantastic so I don't have to hear her brag about the Spurs, even though she hasn't lived in Texas for about nine years, and can only name Duncan, Ginobli, Horry, Vaughn and Parker (and she only knows Vaughn because of me and Parker because of Eva Longoria.)


• Bulls look like garbage so far against the Pistons, Hinrich included. Disappointing. I was ready to hand them the keys to the Eastern Conference after the Heat series. They need to win both at home in the worst way.


• Springfest '07 came and went, and it wasn't the same. The biggest sign of the times was that Paul St. Aubyn was part of the DUI enforcement team. Read that last sentence again. It was still Springfest, however, and there was the standard douchebag that baited T-Nels into a fight, prompting Fundy to come over and tell him "Stop licking your lips you fucking homo" and pull the guy's shirt over his head, hockey-fight style. This was followed by the guy going to get his friends, seeing he was out-numbered by at least 10, and quickly squashing the beef. I didn't meet up with everyone until 5 pm, and to get me caught up, Timmy B physically forced me to do 5 consecutive root beer barrels before I could enter Kristin's apartment. That was a microcosm of my entire night. Since I had to "catch up to everyone else" everybody kept feeding me shots all night. The plus side: I spent 0 dollars the whole night. The negative side: I blacked out around 11:30 and don't know how I got home. The important thing is I'm OK.


• Eye-opening season-opener for softball last night. After last year's 18-2 record (we avenged our only two losses by beating the team that swept us earlier 16-1 in the championship) we felt pretty cocky beginning our title defense. That feeling was gone after getting swept by the Cuckoo's Nest 6-5, 15-5. In addition, the pool table and PGA Championship machine are gone from Boston's, and the amount of free beer we get for coming in after games has been cut in half. Could be a rough year.