Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Even More Little-Known Facts About Tyler Hansbrough



-- Hansbrough thinks it's hilarious to go through the Taco Bell drive-thru and order a Big Mac.

-- Hansbrough went to his 8-year-old nephew's birthday party, and they went bumper-bowling. He liked them so much that he never bowls without them anymore, because he can routinely break 100 now.

-- Hansbrough never hits 16s when the dealer is showing a 10. Then when the next card is flipped and it's an 8, he remarks to the person next to him "See? I just would've busted anyway."

-- Hansbrough just watched Napoleon Dynamite for the first time last week. Since then, every time someone asks him what he's going to do that day, he replies "Whatever I feel like. GOSH!" and then looks for someone to high-five him.

-- Hansbrough's favorite Ghostbuster is Egon.

-- Hansbrough wants to have a destination wedding. He tells people it's because he doesn't want all the stress of planning a traditional wedding, and that it would be more fun to get hitched in a tropical location- but really it's because he doesn't have enough friends to fill up a wedding party, and it would be awkward.

-- When Hansbrough is at the movie theater, after every single preview finishes, he leans to the person he's with and says either "Ohh, that movie looks awesome- I wanna see that!" or "That movie looks awful- I totally don't want to see that." He says this loud enough so that everyone in a 10-row radius can hear him.

-- Hansbrough still thinks that The Blair Witch Project was a real documentary.

-- Hansbrough asked his school counselor to his senior prom because it was the closest relationship he had with a girl the entire year. She said no.

-- When Hansbrough walks into a public restroom with three urinals, and all three are currently unused, he pees in the middle one.

-- When Hansbrough goes to a strip club and sits at Sniffer's Row, he doesn't bring any of his own dollar bills. He just waits until the stripper goes to the other side of the stage, then nabs bills that are already lying on the stage. When the stripper works her way back around to him, he gives her those same bills.

-- Hansbrough loves to tell the story that one time he suckered some kid into trading him a Michael Jordan rookie card in mint condition. When you ask to see the card, he says no because "it's, um, locked up in storage."

-- The age old question: how do you eat a Reese's peanut butter cup? Some people nibble around the edges, then eat the middle part last. Some people take two large bites and are done with it. Tyler Hansbrough takes a bite, then forgets about it, so when he picks it back up it's all melty, so he gets chocolate on his fingers and doesn't wipe it off, even after you offer him a napkin, and then he borrows your Playstation controller and gets melty chocolate shit all over it and doesn't apologize.